[George Washington]

I have so much to say and so much to ask but don't know where to start. My wife finally asked to separate, I knew it was coming. Our marriage has been bad for a couple years now. I pushed for therapy for a while and we did try, but to no avail. So she asked to cancel that as well. Now I have many questions (house, kids, dogs, bills, cars, friends, $, ect.) And how to stop thinking of Her! I loved being married. Being a Father and Husband were my driving forces. Now I'm left worse than I was before and don't know where to turn for help.

[atomicc]

Hello and welcome to PC! I am so sorry about your divorce. This is a very confusing time. Even though your wife wants to cancel therapy, I think you should keep going on your own. This way you will be able to talk about your feelings about your divorce with someone and get coping methods to deal with the really hard stuff.
I hope everything will work out for you

[Hobbit House]

Be welcome

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by George Washington

I have so much to say and so much to ask but don't know where to start. My wife finally asked to separate, I knew it was coming. Our marriage has been bad for a couple years now. I pushed for therapy for a while and we did try, but to no avail. So she asked to cancel that as well. Now I have many questions (house, kids, dogs, bills, cars, friends, $, ect.) And how to stop thinking of Her! I loved being married. Being a Father and Husband were my driving forces. Now I'm left worse than I was before and don't know where to turn for help.

I would stay in therapy even if just for myself and look around for some kind of support group like Codependents Anonymous or whatever I could find over at Google or the therapist can recommend.
IMO, when kids are involved, I would want to know the best things to do for my kids in such a situation and support groups are often composed of people who have struggled with the same or similar problems.
good luck,
jim

[eskielover]

For all the technical issues (house, kids, dogs, bills, cars, friends, $, ect.) I would definitely go to a lawyer to get the details on how it works in the state that you live in....including the details regarding the kids. Know you don't want it to end up divorce, but separation is usually the first step right before divorce especially when marriage counseling has been stopped. You might as well be prepared with professional information on dealing with it.

Honestly I found that was the most difficult part even because negotiations can get nasty....or if you have someone like I have that is incapable of communicating......it's like banging my head against the wall to get anything sorted out but the marriage wasn't any different.

Also as the others suggested, staying in therapy yourself is always a good idea as it's good to have a place where you can express your emotions & discuss how you are feeling. Having a place to bounce thoughts around at & get impartial feedback......really helps as it keeps a level of logic where mostly emotions want to be.

[angel kate]

IMO, when kids are involved, I would want to know the best things to do for my kids in such a situation and support groups are often composed of people who have struggled with the same or similar problems.

[healingme4me]

As much emotional support as you can get, can help. Is she leaving or did she ask you to? Hard letting go of a dream, all the future planning, the family lifestyle. Getting support, in case she drops any further bombshells is advisable.

[Me and my dog]

I'm in your same situation right now. I've fought for what I thought I could do to no avail. The hell we've both gone thought in the last 2 years was finally more than she could take. Unfortunately I have no great advice on how to save the marriage because I couldn't save my own. I just want to tell you that you're not the only one. We're not the first... won't be the last... and do what you need to do for you. Its taken a lot of loss for me to realize nobody's gonna make the effort for me. It sucks, but you need to do what you need to do for you. Peace be with you...