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Old Dec 05, 2014, 01:19 AM
jerimisme74 jerimisme74 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Kansas
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I am in the middle of loosing my wife of 17 years, she has filed for divorce. She let me back in the house after a couple of days and i have tried very hard to show her I can be the partner and husband she wants. I have had a couple years of bad luck with employment and let myself go and really left her alone even though i was here. I have a beautiful Mexican wife and 4 beautiful kids. This has really woke me up and i feel driven to do better. When i was broken beyond repair i went to church, first time in 10 years, and started praying. I felt better and continue to feel better. I believe God and trust in him to show me how to be a better man. Today she agreed to stay the divorce for 6 months even though she makes it clear that she can not guarantee she will ever love me the way she once did again, and that the circumstances changed her I feel like there is no choice for me but to try to win her back. There is no sex i sleep on the floor in the living room, but she lets me give her massages and i do so without indulging my desires. Its been a month like this me doing most of the cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to and from school. I get close to breaking through the wall that separates us but have not found the way through yet, and don't know that i will. I have felt like she feels from time to time over the years and at times thought divorce was the answer but now that its happening I cannot come to terms with it or let her go without trying everything i can to show her that it wasn't a mistake. I dont want things to return to how they were, I want us to be in love again and to cherish each other and hope that she will find the desire to want the same thing.
Hugs from:
gayleggg

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  #2  
Old Dec 05, 2014, 06:40 AM
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gayleggg gayleggg is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,619
It is hard to regain lost feelings. I know because I've been there. My husband left me mentally alone many years ago. I tried to leave but circumstances kept me in the marriage. We are closer but not back where we used to be.

It sounds like you are working at it and I hope it does some good. I know people who have rekindled a relationship, so there is hope, especially since she let you have 6 months to work on it. I wish good luck.
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  #3  
Old Dec 10, 2014, 03:54 PM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 25,077
I understand the struggle.......as I know how I feel after being in a bad marriage for 33 years.....HOWEVER.....there was a LOT of anger that built up in our marriage over the years & even though I don't continue to feel the anger after I have left.....I know that I would NEVER go back to have a marriage with him.....but then again like I told him when I left....if he ever changed it would be totally obvious even from 2100 miles away because communication was a problem & if he wasn't willing to change & communicate with me over the distance....he wasn't going to change in a marriage where we would be living together......

YOU are showing your change which I totally admire that you are doing & you had a good marriage at one time.....I never did....it started off WRONG & bad.....so I think that it's totally possible for you both to reconcile & for her to KNOW that your change isn't just there to get her back then you will drop the change.....I'm sure that's what she's worried about....so take the time....hold on & make your changes permanent.

I actually have a friend who's wife left him...he is a retired Navy pilot. There were issues & she left before I moved here....& it's awesome because they are reconciling over the miles.....funny because I was from Calif & moved to KY....she was in KY & left for Calif.....he's just a good friend from church that is just a friend so it's nice to see that his marriage that had been separated for over 5 years is now getting back together....lots of changes on both parts from what I understand.
If your wife sees a very sincere change in you......& you both give it a peaceful time to get to know the new you like in the beginning......there is definitely a chance.
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