What was will never be again

I am in the middle of loosing my wife of 17 years, she has filed for divorce. She let me back in the house after a couple of days and i have tried very hard to show her I can be the partner and husband she wants. I have had a couple years of bad luck with employment and let myself go and really left her alone even though i was here. I have a beautiful Mexican wife and 4 beautiful kids. This has really woke me up and i feel driven to do better. When i was broken beyond repair i went to church, first time in 10 years, and started praying. I felt better and continue to feel better. I believe God and trust in him to show me how to be a better man. Today she agreed to stay the divorce for 6 months even though she makes it clear that she can not guarantee she will ever love me the way she once did again, and that the circumstances changed her I feel like there is no choice for me but to try to win her back. There is no sex i sleep on the floor in the living room, but she lets me give her massages and i do so without indulging my desires. Its been a month like this me doing most of the cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to and from school. I get close to breaking through the wall that separates us but have not found the way through yet, and don't know that i will. I have felt like she feels from time to time over the years and at times thought divorce was the answer but now that its happening I cannot come to terms with it or let her go without trying everything i can to show her that it wasn't a mistake. I dont want things to return to how they were, I want us to be in love again and to cherish each other and hope that she will find the desire to want the same thing.

It is hard to regain lost feelings. I know because I've been there. My husband left me mentally alone many years ago. I tried to leave but circumstances kept me in the marriage. We are closer but not back where we used to be.

It sounds like you are working at it and I hope it does some good. I know people who have rekindled a relationship, so there is hope, especially since she let you have 6 months to work on it. I wish good luck.

I understand the struggle.......as I know how I feel after being in a bad marriage for 33 years.....HOWEVER.....there was a LOT of anger that built up in our marriage over the years & even though I don't continue to feel the anger after I have left.....I know that I would NEVER go back to have a marriage with him.....but then again like I told him when I left....if he ever changed it would be totally obvious even from 2100 miles away because communication was a problem & if he wasn't willing to change & communicate with me over the distance....he wasn't going to change in a marriage where we would be living together......

YOU are showing your change which I totally admire that you are doing & you had a good marriage at one time.....I never did....it started off WRONG & bad.....so I think that it's totally possible for you both to reconcile & for her to KNOW that your change isn't just there to get her back then you will drop the change.....I'm sure that's what she's worried about....so take the time....hold on & make your changes permanent.

I actually have a friend who's wife left him...he is a retired Navy pilot. There were issues & she left before I moved here....& it's awesome because they are reconciling over the miles.....funny because I was from Calif & moved to KY....she was in KY & left for Calif.....he's just a good friend from church that is just a friend so it's nice to see that his marriage that had been separated for over 5 years is now getting back together....lots of changes on both parts from what I understand.
If your wife sees a very sincere change in you......& you both give it a peaceful time to get to know the new you like in the beginning......there is definitely a chance.