[eskielover]

Finally got the call back to my lawyer to send out the divorce papers for STBXH to sign......now if only he will sign them & not ignore them like he did with the IRS.

Has a list of all the things that if I ever get back to Calif....I claim as mine....which also stops him from getting rid of those things (in theory). He's always been such a jerk to communicate with & it hasn't changed being gone.

Can't wait to get him completely OUT OF MY LIFE.

Lawyer said if he doesn't sign the papers....I can go ahead & get a divorce without asset settlement......why that would cost more is beyond me.........just filing for divorce is something I should be able to do myself if it's just about getting divorced.....it's the asset crap that is more of an issue I would think.......need to do some research on that......

[kaliope]

good luck!

[eskielover]

I decided to send an email on my own to explain the rational behind the retirement funds.......when I read more on the paper, it said that after 10 years of receiving the funds, the retiree is still alive, there is no longer payment to the beneficiary upon the retiree's death......his claim for not giving me 50% was that I was going to get 75% when he finally dies.....so in my email, I said that unless he planned on dying in the next 2 years, I would get nothing......& I helped him pay property taxes & bought other things out of the money that was left over after he paid me back on the refi money.....he claimed I got it all. He said that a lawyer he talked to said that any money from my inheritance that was put into common things like our house became common property....but before I ever gave it to him & made an agreement with him that it was only a loan until the refi went through.....should have put it in writing because I knew that his word was "GOOD FOR NOTHING".....& of course, he would jump on what the lawyer said....but I'm sure that he didn't tell the lawyer that we had an agreement made before I ever put the money to home repair....he was always good at leaving out the most important points of detail to hear what he wanted to hear.

I put a read receipt on the email & haven't heard anything back at all on it even that he has read it.

It will be so wonderful to get him out of my life after 40 years.....39 married to him.....I want out of the marriage even though I haven't seen him for almost 7 years & will only communicate in writing & refused to give him my new phone number after he abused the other one by giving it out to creditors & thinking that was ok. He is NEVER going to know my new phone number. It is sad how over the years one can grow to dislike & at the very end actually HATE someone so much....glad the anger has subsided by learning more of why his behavior is what it is....but there is still the jerk part of it even if there is some real reasons for his irritating behavior & lack of communication & connection abilities. Letting go of the anger is more for my own health than anything...it has nothing to do with dealing with him.