[eskielover]

Wrapping up lose ends....

Some of us getting out of a marriage that has been abusive whether intentional or not, its feeling like a final blessing. I left 10 years ago...moved 2100 miles away & basically walked away from almost everything I had accumulated for 33 years. I didnt have the $ to finish filing for the divorce & he didnt either but he also claimed divorce would make him look like a loser.(hmmm think 10 years & my not coming back didnt look the same?)

Anyway..10 years later....I am finally working on tying up all lose ends & what a relief its feeling like.

I will probably be going back to get the things of mine I left. Daughter thinks it will all still be there.. .I wonder???? But he is so dysfunctional its hard to say though he got the initial list my lawyer put together.

I do dred going back & seeing him again because I have healed so much. Maybe that will help in dealing with him though he is the same dysfunctional person I left. It will take a lot of strength but my focus will be on getting my horse here also so that will help too.

[Nammu]

You have moved light years beyond him. I don't think you'll get sucked back in, instead you'll probably see him with pity.

[eskielover]

Im hoping so Nammu & thinking so too. Praying I dont get triggered & revert back to the anger that I responded to him with before I left then when I kicked him out of my farm when I gave him a chance to see if the different enrivonment that helped me so much would make any difference with him.

I do think that anger was like a glass being filled to the top & any more drops just make it overflow. My glass is NOW empty after almost 10 years but I have noticed that everything he has done these past 10 years that has messed me up financially I do get angry at but distance & communication it writing only has helped me defuse before blowing up at him....& he has done some REAL STUPID things. The last one Im still sorting through how to react to what he did that was totally illegal. I will see what DMV suggests.

I do think that time, distance, good therapy, having wonderful caring friends in my life, growing & knowing now who I am after living my whole life around dysfunctional parents then husband, learning though on my own through research what is really going on with him way beyond just adult ADD will really help & I will spend as little time as possible anywhere around him which will help more than anything else.

We will see....just know my focus & excitement of getting my horse shipped here will overshadow anything else by how wonderful that achievement will be.

[Grandessa]

So happy for you to have your beloved horse returning with you. Also pleased that you'll get your belongings. Sounds like he's in your rear view mirror. I am eager for my former husband to be in the same place!

[eskielover]

Its been a LONG TIME getting to this point both physically, financially & mentally....after 33 years in a dysfunctional marriage & 21 years with dysfunctionsl parents....I had a lot to sort through. Thankful I had a 15 year period of having a somewhat normal computer engineering career but see how all the dysfunction had its effect of that too.