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#1
Dec 15, 2015, 03:15 PM
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Ive been separated for over 18 months. Me and my soon to be ex husband are going thru a divorce right now and literally waiting on final paperwork.
We havnt lived together for over 18 months or been a family or anything for all this time. All my family know we are divorcing. I've got a new job recently and go by my maiden name. I've changed as much as I can to my maiden name. I'm known to everyone by my maiden name. My mom sent me a Xmas card in the post address Mrs xxxxx I'm so so upset! She knows why I'm divorcing him and the hell he put me through and how he ruined my life. She said I'm still legally married so used my married name and won't use my maiden name until I'm legally divorced. I'm beyond speechless |
 Bill3, cakeladie, Cat_Lover_58, DBTDiva, Raindropvampire, Rose76, shezbut, Soidhonia, unaluna
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#2
Dec 15, 2015, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Borderline PD/Major Depression/Anxiety  Living well in recovery from mental illness is possible!
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 cakeladie, Hedgeleaf
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#3
Dec 15, 2015, 05:05 PM
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(((Hedgeleaf))) i kinda picture your mom putting her fingers in her ears and going lalalala regarding you getting a divorce. My mother was the same way. She just wanted me married, she didnt care if i was miserable or dead or what.
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| cakeladie, shezbut
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| Hedgeleaf
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#4
Dec 15, 2015, 05:11 PM
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Thank you for your replies X
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#5
Dec 17, 2015, 10:56 AM
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Hi, Hedgeleaf...
Has your mom always been dismissive of your requests? Or is this new for her? I'm really sorry, that's so uncalled for and insensitive. I take it that she doesn't approve of your divorce. |
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#6
Dec 19, 2015, 10:33 PM
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Before I reached the part about her reasons, I was briefly remembering the innocent mixups in my name, but innocent, nonetheless. Like going into the new year and miswriting the year. But I'm aghast at the notion of refusing until it's a legal divorce? I'm assuming that the name change was approved through social security and the registry of motor vehicles and on your passport and tax forms, already? I must admit, since I didn't change my name immediately during the divorce, I still haven't spent the couple of hundred to revert back in court.
Just sorry to read that your mom is being stubborn.  Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk |
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#7
Dec 26, 2015, 02:09 PM
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Are you sure she did it on purpose? Did you talk to her about it?
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#8
Dec 29, 2015, 09:30 AM
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#9
Dec 30, 2015, 04:41 PM
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My understanding from my lawyer is that the legal name change doesn't go through until after the divorce is final...but maybe I misunderstood. For me after 33 years with my married name & my degree is under my married name I decided to not bother changing it. New job & having people now know you by your maiden name is good....why your mother would address you ain't that formal way in the first place is beyond me?...it's not important for family to call someone by their legal name in the first place....sounds like your mom just holds onto some weird thoughts & won't let them go....some people are just like that & it's just what they are like...like it or not.....it's not critical, just annoying
__________________
 Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
| Rose76
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#10
Dec 30, 2015, 06:10 PM
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It's annoying and hurtful. My ex left me and my son when we sound out our son had autism and mild retardation. It took me years to get a divorce. But my grandmother is big on cards and celebrating things and when we were separated for about 7 months our anniversary came up and my grandmother was going to send me a happy anniversary card. My grandfather asked her if she had lost her mind. She was only trying to show her love and support and we had only been separated for 7 months. Grandpa was looking out for me if he could he would have tried to knock some sense into my ex husband.
Anyway I agree with you and it's frustrating and annoying.
__________________
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| eskielover
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#11
Jan 05, 2016, 12:45 AM
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Your mom is deliberately needling you. She probably likes hearing that she upset you. Don't give her the satisfaction. You have a right to decide how you will be called. Your mother doesn't respect that, and she doesn't respect you. Even when your name is legally changed, she'll probably find some other way to be obnoxious. It's sad. I'm sure you don't need this on top of the pain of a failed marriage and the strain of divorce.
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#12
Jan 08, 2016, 07:22 PM
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Hello. I am so sorry that happened to you with your Mother and the card. PLESE PM if you want to talk. Take care. Your friend, SOIDHONIA.
__________________
The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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#13
Jan 17, 2016, 12:08 AM
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Sounds like a passive-aggressive move. But, why? Is your mother married to someone she really doesn't care for but feels obligated to stay married?
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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