Can I date?

My soon-to-be-ex-husband and I split seven months ago after being together for 3.5 years. I struggled for several months, went to therapy (which I'm still doing), hid in my house for a while, started going out, repainted my kitchen, and am now finally feeling like I'm actually ready to move on. It hasn't been an easy road, but I've been doing things by myself and for myself, just being with myself, and I don't believe any relationship into which I'd get now would be a rebound.
I'm serving as a surrogate mother right now, and because of the pregnancy, I'm not allowed to file until the baby is born. There are papers stating the baby will be relinquished to its parents, my ex-husband will sign them, etc. The divorce is uncontested, and we have agreed on most things. There may be a little hashing to do, but nothing major. No custody issues, no property issues. He has moved to a different state.
Is it okay for me to date, even though technically papers have not been filed, knowing that the divorce should be finalized in March? I ask because I met a guy I really like, and I'm not sure how to proceed.

Hello pantyche: Well... I don't really know anything about this really. But it seems to me that it's really just a matter of how you feel about it. If you're confident that you're ready... then you're ready. From my perspective, it's just important to be honest with regard to your current situation. You mentioned you see a therapist. Have you talked this over with that person? Good luck!

If you are asking for opinions, I don't think you should date until its final. While you are separated and just waiting for March to roll around, any guy that you are with will technically be with a married woman. If a new relationship starts now, there can always be the suspicion that you aren't faithful. There will always be the issue that, "well you were still technically married when we were together, how do I know I can trust you?" And later in a new relationship, this can be held against you and may become a source of anxiety.

Best to take the high ground, it will show your values later in life, and, help avoid possible conflict in future relationships. Then again, that's just my opinion.

It's definitely ok to have friends and see each other socially. Probably not a good idea to get involved until you wrap up the pregnancy and divorce. While it sounds like you are handling things well, you are not really free yet. I hope all goes well for you!

I think its best for all involved to not date until the divorce is final. Things can get very messy if you start to date before that.

Panty, I would do the proper thing and wait until your divorce is final before dating. This will be a good testing ground to see if this man is willing to wait for you. If he is not then you saved yourself a lot of heartache. If he is willing to wait then you truly have been blessed. In the meantime work on things for yourself. Being single is not all that bad, it is putting yourself first which is probably more of what you need right now. tc

Hard to say. How'd you meet the new guy?

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Well the concensus seems to be that you should wait, but I think it's fine. My ex-husband and I were actually separated but not divorced for 10 years, and I dated the whole time, as did he. At first we were young (21 and 22) and couldn't afford divorce and then so much time had passed we didn't even think much about it. The only reason I finally made it official was that I was buying a house. He ended up marrying his long term gf about a year after that. I would think that the pregnancy might be more of an issue for potential dates than the divorce not being final? I think as long as you're up front and honest with anyone you date that it's fine as long as they're cool with it.

I guess it's okay for you to date. But I think I'ld question the brains of a man who'ld be interested in dating a woman who is in the midst of a divorce and pregnant, even as a surrogate mother. You might want to get both of those situations resolved first.