[Robynlp96]

Is it possible to stay married when there is no trust? Like snooping computers, phones. The lack of trust is warranted on both sides. He cheated then I cheated. Until he cheated I never looked in another mans direction. Its a huge mess!

Technically, one could stay married with no trust ... but it won't be a happy marriage. Marriage counseling?

[TishaBuv]

Your marriage vows were violated. You both swore fidelity and broke it. He did it first and you did it to retaliate. So you are legally married, but broken.

If you both really love each other you can work it out.

Marriage counseling may help.

[Robynlp96]

We start counseling this week.

But just to be clear I didn't seek out someone to retaliate with, I found someone to talk to about 8 months later. This person happened to be an ex which was my first mistake, but he made me feel special. My husbands cheating made me feel like my marriage was already broken so I had nothing to lose. So it was wrong but it was not retaliation. The guy lived 400 miles away so when I called hime I felt a relationship was impossible, if I started it as a retaliation I would have not chosen someone closer and easier.

[Angelica21]

Trust can be restored.

If both of you say to each other today, and you both genuinely mean it today: "I made mistakes and broke trust in the past, but I'm willing to stay together and become a trustworthy person by never cheating again." then it's worth a try. Also, if you say to each other "If I want to cheat again, I'll tell you instead of just doing it, and then we'll agree to end the marriage at that time".

With that attitude, and some good therapy, trust can be restored. After that, on your side, you must say to yourself "I'm going to assume all is well and not go looking for problems. If there are problems, those problems are sure to find me, and then I'll know. In the meantime, I'll forge ahead that both of us are being faithful."

[Blizz88]

Trust is a huge part of any relationship, whether that be between family members, friends, or partners. Essentially, I think it is the foundation of any relationship. However, trust is a hard thing anymore. I think more and more people have a tendency to lie now a days, which is sad. Social media does not help because everything has a password or passcode anymore. Yet, I think anyone can work on it. Taking baby steps helps. Admitting your wrongs and seeing the strengths in one another is a good step. Often times, we have trust issues because of our own insecurities too. Communication is key. I think trust can be rebuilt even once it has been broken, so I think you can work through this if you both put in the effort.

[healingme4me]

I don't truly know.