[uiillini]

I'll try to be succinct. Long term GF (8 years). We are currently geographically separated. She's working at the South Pole, I was there earlier this year but wasn't able to get a job for the winter. She is there until November. We've had a rocky time of things. Much due to my mental issues, maybe depression more likely cognitive thought issues. Point being I'm not without fault here. But we've been apart for 4 months now and will be apart for at least 5 months. She wrote me today telling me that she has strong emotional and physical feelings for another guy down there. A married guy at that. She says she hasn't acted on them yet but she suspects that she will. She has no interest in a long term relationship with this guy because he has kids and she doesn't want that responsibility. She, well they, are going to **** up a pair of relationships and harm his kids just because they are bored and lonely and want to get laid. And it just hurts so much. I gave up my career and all the security that comes with it to try to make things work with her. I left my home and everything that made me feel safe and secure. And she's going to toss it away for a fling, nothing more than that. It just hurts so much. I want to kill myself. I had nowhere to go so I ended up with a gig housesitting on a small island off the coast of nicaragua. I've got no friends here. There is no support for this sort of thing on the island. I just feel so crushed.

[Skeezyks]

Hello uiillini: Welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm sorry you have been confronted with such a confusing & disturbing situation. I guess maybe there are different ways to look at this. One might be that your gf just never saw your relationship in the same light you did. So she just doesn't consider what she plans to do to be a big deal. Another way to look at it is that sex is just sex. It's no big deal especially under the circumstances she's in. (Most people, I think, would have a difficult time buying into that concept. But there certainly are people who do.)

The question that this raises though is... if she'll do this... what does that say about what type of relationship you could expect to have going forward. The really sad part of it all, of course, is that you threw everything away for this relationship & this is how it's ending up. I know you wrote you feel like killing yourself. But please try to hang in there. Hopefully continuing to post, here on PC, can help.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!