Welcome to Divorce and Separation

Welcome! So Sorry that things are being hard and so Sorry that you are losing your best Friend! You've come to the right place to find support in my opinion as Hopefully you will be able to find people with similar struggles. Feel free to contact the admins and moderators in case you need Help. i am also available if you need it and Hopefully others as well if you just ask. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @dsm1, your Family, your Friends and ALL od your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Thank you. This is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

I have been separated for several years. Separated is the word he used for the kids but he left me. He was very angry at first and years into an affair. Found out a few months later there was a child. I was so hurt but I masked it well for the sake of my children and also because I didn’t want to divorce. I feel so stupid for doing so much on behalf of a marriage that only I want. We talk often recently and he admitted that he was blind, but nothing about us. After a recent conversation I feel like he doesn’t want me. However I can’t seem to pull the trigger. I can accept that he doesn’t want me, but I haven’t been able to file for divorce. My mother in law doesn’t think he will divorce me, but I’m beginning to feel like why? Us remaining married is only tying me down. He has a whole other family...

I struggle with comparison also. I have been trying to get over the envy of others who didn’t even want their marriages restored and the spouse turned around. Sometimes I want to be able to treat him like I don’t care but just my luck it would reinforce his position. Just tired of wanting someone that doesn’t want me.

So Sorry this is happening. It will likely be difficult but i think you will be able to handle this as shocking as what you're going through can be! Please consider your options carefully! i Hope and Pray that things will turn out well. Have you tried to suggest Couple counseling to him? Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Laughsmilecry, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Hello,
I am new to this site. I have been separated for almost 2 2 years after 20 years of marriage (his choice) He still lives in the basement for financial reasons. I am struggling with the separation. He has done many hurtful things over the past two years and I know I deserve better so what I don’t understand is why do I still cry? Why does it still hurt me so much when he seems just fine? He tore my girls and my life apart and he walks around with no worries. Why can’t I be that way?

Hi everyone,
I am new here and going through a divorce after trying to work on things for almost a year and a half. He made some bad choices that broke my trust and had made it impossible for us to reconcile. We were together 10 years and coming out of this I have realized how emotionally dependent I was on him. It has been about 5 days since we decided to file the paper work and to finally let go. I am just a wreck. Also with covid it is so hard because I live alone and our area is in lockdown. So I really am alone. Looking for some support and hope. I am in such a scary place right now.

I am currently going through a divorce and it's extremely hard as I love my wife and she has fallen out of love with me. This has almost crippled me as I have just bought a beautiful home in a place I love to live and now it's ripped away and I'm going to a life of loneliness and it is something I haven't experienced in years and do not being alone. I love my wife's company.

How do I become a part of this group?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shameley How do I become a part of this group?

Welcome to MSF My Support Forums. Since you are already a member of MSF you can post in any of the public forums like this one.

Hope you get the support you need.
@CANDC

Hello,

I separated from my ex more than 1 year ago. He has not provided any financial disclosure. He was served with a court order for the documents and was given 30 days to respond. There is still no response from his lawyer after 35 days. What reasons do you think he hasn't responded? If he doesn't it would be an uncontested divorce and a judge will decide.

I spent some time trying to find the right online forum for this type of support. Looking forward to participating and grateful to having found this site!

My husband of 5 years (together for 10) left once again last week, for probably the 20th time. He disappeared just before my mom came to visit, and to add insult to injury, he said he might have come back over the weekend if she weren't there. Now he says it's over for good. I am so sad and scared, can't eat or sleep, having trouble focusing on work. I probably have to move, because the only family in this area are on his side. In the meantime I'm worried about getting stuck with the bills for an apartment I can't afford on my own. It's never been a positive or stable relationship but I still just wish he would come back.

Yeah I'm glad this is here. Some difficult things in my marriage and the desire to end things here... is it appropriate to display my laundry list here lol?

There's zero talking or sharing feelings, conversation is always one sided, no attraction, no sex, no intimacy, not even a friendship.

I know she won't change because how stubborn she is ... nor would I really want her to; most change is temporary and resentful anyway. What to do?

I'm so happy if found this forum. I've been struggling for more than a year and am trying not to loose my mind. Hopefully I can find what I need here and I'll feel comfortable sharing because I need to talk to someone or I feel like I will explode with sadness.

I'd like to chat. I feel the same. I am on the edge of a divorce and feel like I have no one to talk to. This is my first day here...

Hi, i'm brand new here. Can you tell me how to start a new thread.

Hello-I am heartbroken and depressed my husband wants out after 26 years. I must say I don’t blame him. He feels taken advantage of and he should. It’s a long story but I don’t want to lose him

I am so glad I stumbled across this forum. After almost 7 years, he decides he is done and doesn't even want to try and make things better. He also said my health issues and caring for me along with all the household duties and kids is just too much and he is burned out. What I can't accept is that he isn't even willing to try. He emotionally cheated on me for the last 2 years of our relationship and I decided to accept it and move on and after all that he is just done. I don't understand how or why he could put me through all that for nothing. We also still have to live together for who knows how long due to our financial situation. It's hard on my kids as well. He is the only father they have ever known and has promised my daughter multiple times over the years that he would never leave so she is not handling this well at all. I am just at a complete loss. I have zero self esteem after all the women and never felt like I was enough for him. I am also very angry at myself for putting up with all that and letting him make me feel that way basically for nothing. All I do is sit in the dark and cry. I try my best to pretend everything is OK when my kids are around but they can tell. I hope I can find some solace here.

I am new to divorce, new to support forums and new to the incredible PAIN this causes. Anyone that can offer insight on How to Let Go, how to stop feeling attached, how to get over someone you love and you thought loved you back?

So much has happened, too much to write. It boils down to 15 year relationship, 10 years of marriage, at least a 2 year affair, 3 months of supposedly trying to make it work only to learn he never ended the affair.
I’m 53, he’s 47. His girlfriend has been relentless about sending me screenshots of their texts to prove it is still going on. Even sent an audio of them having sex. This last round of texts was too much. He keeps saying they aren’t real because he hasn’t had anything to do with her!
It’s killing me. I have a hard time walking away from a fifteen year relationship! I’m so broken, so depressed, and so lonely. I’m hurt, angry, confused, desperate, and lost. I have no one to really go to other than his mother. We have talked and she’s been so supportive. But I’m in a really bad place and don’t know what to do!

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I recently ended a 15 year relationship so I can relate. It’s a horrible horrible feeling.

It's been ten years since my divorce was final. This morning, I wrote down some of my feelings. Can anyone relate? I'm new. If I'm not using the right format, etc., just let me know.
He controlled me. Our finances were kept secret from one another. He wanted separate accounts. I wanted at least one mutual account to pay bills. That request was ignored as were my feelings, my ideas, and my thoughts….unless, of course, he wanted sex. It was the only time I felt close to him.

He stayed up late every night sitting in front of the computer and was wide awake until about 3 a.m. when he would crawl into bed and hold me tight. When he came into the bedroom, he would throw his heavy shoe on the floor. When I awoke, it was always earlier than him. I was told to tiptoe so he would not awaken. I was getting ready for work and could not turn the lights on to get ready. No lights, not even the closet light. Eventually, I moved to the upstairs bedroom, but even then, I was told what to do and when to do it. I tried to coax him and called his name when he was going through the typical ritual of sitting in front of the computer until 3, but he never heeded my call.

He had control over everything until I finally left him for good. I got in my Honda Civic and drove to a small town in Louisiana. I listened to Jewel and put my hand in the air to feel the wind. It felt sweet. It felt free. I was free.

H… New on online forums… Married 25 years been together since we were 19… Two small children 5 and 8… He left me because he says he idoes not know if he is in love with the women I welcome into our home and bed for a threesome… My fault I know…

I am sorry you are going through this. I have been with my husband since I was 13 and he just asked me for a divorce. We have a five year old with Autism and work different hours to accommodate her needs. We started leading very separate lives and the intimacy suffered. He also provides zero emotional support and his response is “it will be fine” for everything. He wants to go into mediation soon and not even look at separating first. He tells me there is no one else and I can account for his time so I have no idea. I’m just really scared of being alone. I’ve been with him for so long, but we grew into different people. I told him I would work on the intimacy and we could do therapy, but he wants no part of it. We are still in the same house and it is so awkward. He is so cold to me now. I have not been physically into him for so long and I’m sure this is best for me to. I just feel so lost and confused.