Coming to conclusion

My husband left me last September after 41 years of marriage and raising 2 children. The first 2-3 months I didn't think I would make it; like rolling in a wave in the Pacific Ocean and not knowing if my feet would touch ground ever again. Lost in grief and huge emotional pain ( triggered early attachment issues massively). He has gone no contact. Only contact is with each other's lawyers.

Reached out for support from family and friends. The legal divorce process is also emotional and requires constant vigilance to ensure my financial future is at least reasonable. My former husband is an attorney and litigator so that is an issue.

Although still sad at times, something just clicked several months ago, and I realized this is real, it has to be dealt with, and he will never come back. I am 63 years old and will do everything I can to have a happy, joyous life, nourishing the loving relationships I have. I guess my biggest lesson learned is that I want everyone in my life to experience my love and caring, and to live my remaining years with dignity and integrity. I want my adult children to see their mother as a wonderful human being, one who took the blows and rose from the ashes to love life even more. A legacy of loving relationships. Love and peace to all of you❤️❤️

That sounds rough, but you also sound like an incredibly strong woman to go through something so painful, and yet be so overflown with kind thoughts.

My parents were married for 45 years, and even though they were separated (not divorced) for a long time of those years, when my dad passed away my mom was completely devastated. He's been gone for about five years by now, and I so wish my mom had the same outlook in life as you do.

Don't ever lose that love in your heart ❤️

Way to go, Grandessa!

Some never get to the point of realizing they need to be happy after divorce. It is possible.

I'm only a year removed from living with my wife, and just three months from the divorce being finalized. It took a lot of tossing and turning to reach the conclusion I needed to move on. And you have found outlets to live your life to the fullest.

I wish nothing but the best for you, my friend. You rock!

Thanks ChronicBlue and JJH78. Your support is very meaningful to me.

Take good care of yourselves.

Thanks for your post. It was an inspiration and something I needed to hear.

Hi Nevernomore,

I saw your mood: rejected. Rejection and betrayal are so real and, really, the greatest pain I have ever been through. My heart goes out to you. Those of us who have known it can help each other "keep living until we feel alive again."

Thanks for these words. Hope it will inspire other people as well. You're very strong

Thanks for sharing the road you have traveled. So many think its all over when the marriage ends. Its good for them to hear there is a bright future when we look for it & persue it. Happiness is not dependent on someone else but comes from within so it can exist then in spite of what we may be around.

Glad to hear your progress.

Its interesting how rejection is perceived. Im sure my ex would say I rejected him but I felt like 33 years with no emotional connection (& doing the right thing because its JUST THE RIGHT THING TO DO) is NOT emotional connection. Realized the whole 33 years felt like a rejection in so many ways. I just didnt bother to notice it bothered me while I had my career to hide in.

In reality I think we both experienced rejection though in diffetent ways.

Well said Eskielover. I know the truth in what you say. There was no emotional intimacy in my marriage, especially the last year or so. As time goes by, I know I'll feel the reality of this more. Meanwhile, my horse is great therapy!

Yea for horses.....the BEST therapy in the world!!!! : hug:

Definitely agree with that, worked with rescue horses all through my 20's. We also ran a program for troubled teens alongside. The bonds that were forged and the healing accomplished there was something I won't ever forget.

Yep Erebos and Eskielover:

I obtained my certification in therapeutic riding and have volunteered over the last 2 years at a child and adolescent residential treatment center. The healing is obvious. You can't make this stuff up