[Chalkdust]

Hmmmm I may be the only guy on here...I hope thats alright with everyone. My wife and I ....well my soon-to-be-ex-wife and I are getting divorced. We are remaining friends. Its just life got in the way of us being together. We did not have children so thats good. We separated a year ago and now November 5th is the court date. Even though I know this divorce is right it was still hard after I signed the paper. Infact that day we had even spent time at the local Barns & Noble just talking....we seem to be able to talk more now on a truthful level then we ever did when together. She has met someone else and is all excited. And to be honest I am happy for her. I really am. Its just signing the papers made me feel like such a loser. sigh.....this is my second divorce....the first wife decided she was a lesbian. Its not true.....the second time hurts just as much....actually to me even worse. Signing the papers was a significant day for me. I came home drank some wine coolers....and went to bed early.

Ok not sure where I am going with all this just wanted to say Hi to everyone and join the forum here.

Tobey

[sunrise]

Hi chalkdust, and welcome.

Sounds like you are going through some tough times right now. I congratulate you on moving through your divorce amicably and still being friendly with your (ex-)spouse. My husband and I aren't separated yet, but are working on a collaborative divorce--trying to preserve some civility. We have two kids and will always be their co-parents, so I don't want to be enemies.

I've been reading this book lately on rebuilding your life after divorce. Maybe some of it might speak to you:

Rebuilding: When your Relationship Ends.

[bebop]

of course it is ok for a guy to be here. I am sorry you are going thru this and yes it is very hard no matter which one it is. when I left my ex I never cried til the day the divorce was final. we are friendly now though which is good. come hang with us anytime.

[Lemon]

Welcome to this forum Chalkdust. My situation sounds similar to yours in that my husband and I will probably remain friends. I don't imagine we'll be hanging out together really, but we don't agrue or anything like that. We don't have children either, that seems to make the whole process much quicker and smoother, though not necessarily less painful.

Could you plan something for November 6th (or around that date) to look forward to? Do you have a hobby, sporting event, theater event you could buy tickets for to have something around that time that would be distracting?

I wish I had an exact date. I'm waiting for my husband to agree to the draft of our settlement, then we need to submit it to the judge. We won't need a court date, so then it'll just be waiting for the approval from the judge.

[Chalkdust]

Hello Sunrise, Bebop, & Lemon,

It is good to have a place to come to around here. Things to seem to be going alright. All of a sudden once in a while I will just sort of fall apart.....lol...but thankfully I am back together now. ...not with her...with myself. lol If that makes any sense.

Tobey

[DutchGirl]

I am glad I found this forum. I find it very difficult to post, but it helps to read what other people think.

Chalkdust, I recognise these feelings of suddenly falling apart. I don't know what triggers it, it just happens.

[Chalkdust]

Hello DutchGirl -

glad you understood what I meant in my last post here. Its strange because I can be alright for days then ......it hits me again.

I think as mentioned abover that planning something to do on that day (court day - November 5th) is a good idea. I have my Abnormal Psy class for a couple of hours but then I should do something.

We probably all need to do something for ourselves once in a while to make us feel good.