My Life Is Now Over, 17 Years Gone !!....

She had not been happy with me, And I was just clueless I guess, She is turning 50 and just got tired of living in our basement (fully furnished) We re-modeled it when we first got married. My mother lives upstairs. At the time it was a great idea. We even had a child together.

But she wanted her own place, and left, we share the boy back and forth.

At first we had simply "separated", and I thought things could be worked out, but now she's just waiting to file for divorce, I ask her if she misses me and the response was "No, I don't, I'm actually liking my independence"......... She had plenty of independence before, I stopped her from nothing.

After the move she left alot of her stuff, said I could keep it, except the bed, I now use a sofa sleeper. (awful) I'll need to buy a bed soon.

...

Anyway, this is just the basics of my story, something happened in April that was major, It caused her and the boy to leave and find new residence, It also caused our boy to land in foster care for 2 months, she just got him back on 6-29... And the entire thing was just one HUGE mistake........

And My Life Is Now Over...........

Welcome to PsychCentral, CitizenX. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. There can be a lot of support available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

Hello CitizenX, I see this is your first post so welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone to chat with.

Life isn't over, it's just going to be a different life to get used to now. Honestly from personal experience it's better not living with someone who is not happy in the marriage......anger builds & it only gets really nasty....not the way anyone should live (either person). Don't know when happened back in April that changed everything. I would suggest getting a good divorce lawyer. If she lost your son to foster care instead of him going to you....that is definitely strange unless you are incapable of caring for him. That would have been the normal place for your son to be placed unless there was an abuse issue that exists.

Life is never easy & married life is even more difficult when there isn't good communication. The fact that you don't know why she really left implies a serious lack of communication existed in your marriage so it's not surprising that this situation exists.

One thing with my many years of observing failed marriages & having been in one, it's usually failings of both the partners that causes the marriage to end so it's also important to look at what part we played also...it doesn't mean we were wrong it usually just indicates a definite incompatibility & usually expectations of each other that aren't fulfilled.

You will get through this as many others of us have

I guess I'm curious as to why, if she lost custody to your child, he wasn't given to you and instead was put in foster care? That doesn't sound right.

Also, is there any reason you use "the boy" to refer to your child? It sounds almost disconnected.

For 20 years I was an adult porn collector, but in April the police arrived with a search warrant, said I had uploaded child porn? A file I shared with friends had been flagged by google and was reported to my ISP.

Social services got word of this, and a week later my wife and child had to leave the house!! She went to her brothers, but we decided later for her and him to come back home and instead I would leave to stay with a friend. Social services found out and said we had violated the "safety plan". 1 week later they took him from school. She was furious.

After 2 months she got him back, but for the past 2 months SS only let's me visit him once a week (supervised) for 1 hour !!..... (Wife was supervised too)

He told SS he saw naked women on my computer, SS considered this abuse and took him.

I have to get a psycho-sexual evaluation completed in order for them to lift the supervised visits which is scheduled for 7-28. Hopefully by September me and my wife can share him back and forth without SS involvement.

And the police have not charged me with anything.....They took my computer, some CD's, etc. I told them all they will find is adult material. no children. I only collected porn easily found on the internet, I was a smut collector.... There are thousands like me. But somehow 1 bad file ruined my life.....

? I just posted but don't see it ?

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