Scared too jump

I haven't posted here for a long time. I came to this site because I was contemplating leaving my husband. I felt utterly alone and lost...
I have 2 children and felt I wasn't in a position to leave at the time. I was just getting over a year long battle with depression. I was working only part time. Etc, etc. So I quietly got things in my life organized. It took alot longer then I expected. About 18 months I guess. There were many set backs, but also many triumphs.
So here I am...I have a down payment for a home for my kids and I. A full time job, that can support us. At this point there is nothing left of my marriage, no intimacy, friendship...or respect.
And yet...I can't say the words. I can't look in his eyes and end my family. My world. I keep telling myself I'll just save a bit more..endure a bit longer. It's been VERY stressful at my house the past 6 months. Him blaming me and being unpleasant.
I'm scared. I need the stress to end and move on to another chapter. But, I'm so scared. I guess there is not a good time to say I want a divorce.

No, I suppose there is never a good time to say you want a divorce. I understand your hesitation as it is an enormous change and may seem scary, diving into the unknown.

BUT, that being said, you have done all the necessary preparations, you are now in a great spot to do this, and I encourage you to muster up all your strength and courage and take the plunge!

The longer you stay, the more stressed and miserable you will be. Plus, you deserve respect, and if that is gone, why stay any longer? Why endure the lack of respect, blame, accusations and unpleasantness, right?

Once you leave and start your life fresh, you will feel happier, lighter, less stressed and free from this burden. Think of it that way. (((((hugs)))))

It is like being on the high dive, isn't it?

You sound ready. You don't deserve another day-minute-second of blame and unpleasantness. You do deserve peace and joy.

Have you talked to an attorney? Blame and unpleasantness might get worse once he knows you want out. It might be wise to make sure you're protected and ready for the legal steps before you tell your husband you want a divorce.

It's a scary sad hard place to be. Sending you a little peace and joy to get you started. ❤️

First if all, well done.
You have done what many couldn't.
You have buckled down and made good on your wishes for a better life for you and your kids.
Find an attorney. And if your able confide in someone you trust to provide you with back up and support if things get hairy, do that too.

There is no good time to do this, but do you want to be where you are for another Christmas, or another New year?
Wishing you all the best. Really hope you find that strength, you have come so far I really believe you can do this.
Take care.

Thank you for your kind words of support. For the past 2 years I have been planning to leave and haven't told a soul. It's been lonely, and hearing ur encouragement helped give me a well needed push. I phoned the bank to get preapproved for my mortgage. ..and then I'm jumping. Thank you.

Congrats on realizing you need to move on. It's hard at first but give it time and you will slowly regain yourself

CONGRATS!!! You are on your way to a much happier existence!!!

Are you working with an attorney? I'm concerned about your assets if he turns bitter. I'm happy for you for setting such a life changing goal and meeting that goal. I watched the most drawn out, lengthy legal battle over a home purchased with a modest inheritance between my father and stepmom. It lasted two years. I'd hate to see this turn as sour, not that my father isn't prone to some very dramatic twists and turns where his love life is concerned.

Protect yourself, is my advice.

I'm sorry this is so painful. It must seem like a radical move. But, if the marriage is as you describe it, then it sounds like you need to move along. That's got to be demoralizing to wake up every day in a home where the marital love is extinquished. There's no guarantee that a good man will come a long. But, if you stay where you are, there's no room for a new relationship. That may not be your priority right now, and I would discourage you getting emotionally involved with someone new right away. Still, you need to begin detaching from what it seems you regard as a lost cause.

There will be an adjustment period - for you and for the kids. The sooner you get that underway, the sooner it will be behind you. Then you will settle in to your life, as it will be. I take it, you're still a rather young woman. The current home situation is dragging you down. If there's no hope, then untangle yourself from this man. Challenges await you, but nice things that you can't even imagine right now are also awaiting you. Open yourself to what could be when you let go of what is.

You've made your preparations. Don't linger in a stifling situation. Things will work out.

I did it. I jumped. I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I feel a million pounds lighter. I've felt like I've been dragging around this HUGE burden for years, and I guess I had been. I know there will be plenty of sadness as I sell my house. And tell my kids. But for now I feel a sense of peace. Thank you for the support. It did help alot.

That's great that you got over that hurdle. Don't fall into the pit of thinking that divorce is something you need your husband to give you. You've made sound preparations. Set your own time table for moving along. Don't get sucked into back and forths with him over who treated who wrong and why you are justified in leaving him. If you are satisfied that you need to move on that's all you need. You don't need his blessing.

I'm glad you feel better. Now make things happen that need to happen. I hope you have an attorney you trust.

I am happy for you! You took a brave step.

There will likely be ups and downs until the house is sold and the divorce is finalized. Now that you made the important step, remind yourself daily of the reasons for divorcing him and be informed about your legal rights. If your H is difficult to deal with, you may need someone (such as a lawyer) to be an intermediary. Hopefully, he is not difficult. In the US, divorce is much cheaper when the two parties separating agree.....

I commend you for having the courage to make your life better.