She had an affair?!?!

It was the night before Thanksgiving last year (2019) that my world came crashing down. 24 years and 4 children together. We had met and been together since high school. We had been each other’s first and only everything. Yes we had many issues over the years, but we were good Christian people. We don’t believe in divorce and certainly not affairs or the like. I had a spinal injury a few years earlier and had been struggling to learn to walk again. When her affair went into full physical mode I was again in the hospital and in a coma from another medical issue. So much to my story, but how could she do this? When I said “I do”, I meant it for life. I myself passed on a number of chances to step out on my marriage. I never would do that. I told myself I would give it a year after she wanted to reconcile to see if I could get past it. That year is up next month. Do I love her? Yes. Am I happy? Not even close. We have almost no intimacy because it makes me sick every time I think about where she’s been let alone to try and get it going. All I ever have wanted was one wife and to be the great dad I never had in my life. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, but I also don’t want to be with a woman who betrayed me in a way I could never do to anyone. I am lost and just want a faithful, loving wife...