So unfair, so painful

My husband is seing a lawyer Jan 6. He cheated, I forgave him, now he is at it flirting and making excuses to get out of the house. We are still in the same house as he has nowhere to go, so this is very painful and unfair to me and the children

I wish he just would move out so he can enjoy his extracurricular activities without the pain of seeing him lie, make excuses and dissasociate and making us all feel like chopped liver. He used to pick on fights then blame me, now he just makes excuses .

I feel so lonely and sad. I am trapped here putting a strong front for the kids, a supportive face for him as he struggles with guilt and depression, while maintaining the peace as we negotiate the terms of the divorce. I am getting a very generous settlement and got way more because he knows I did nothing wrong and he feels guilty, but money cannot repair my broken heart or give my kids the time back to be with their father. My husband changed and he brings a cloud of negativity that makes me feel bad about myself. I just want h to leave at this point, but don't want a litigate in court and lose the agreement that we have. I love him and always will. I have accepted this but can't move on until he is out. I was never consulted on this arrangement of him staying here for months until it is final.

I know he is trying not to hurt my feelings and spend time with the kids, but he is doing neither. He already made plans in advance, then gets tense and miserable while we do things with the kids as he struggles with guilt, then makes excuses to leave. The kids are used to him leaving do they are obvlivous, but I know. I'm tired of being treated like an idiot, forgiveness only enable him and made him look for excuses to do it again.

I an numb. I am not surprised or upset, but it hurts me that he acts fine, enjoys the perks of home and understanding, pampering, help with his guilt etc. then like a switch acts so miserable when he plans to meet whomever then, makes us all blue and feel bad as he disconnects when it's time to leave to do his thing, then perks up when it's time to go, then come back and feel guilty and depressed and I have to nursing back from the depressive moods, repeat.