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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,179
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Mar 28, 2023 at 10:06 AM
#1
Tisha, what are your husbands parents like?
I am thinking you grew up with a very emotional and demanding mother and you were drawn into her drama until you got older and realized how unhealthy her drama was. There are people that are very addicted to drama. They tend to be very needy and look for ways to become the center of attention. The other thing I see is that you are recently an empty nester. That can be very hard to adjust to in itself. In addition to that your husband retired early and is around a lot. That too is hard yet also you moved to a small apartment so now he is really in your space constantly. It’s not surprising you got to a point where you needed your own place. Some men are just dumb and unresponsive to emotional needs. It’s not necessarily intentional abuse, it’s just flat and unresponsive. Keeping you in the loop with the vacation is not necessarily meant as punishment. That is something your mother would do so it’s probably where your mind and emotions go on a deep subconscious level. |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,258
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Mar 28, 2023 at 07:12 PM
#2
Quote:
I could give him a pass that he doesn’t have empathy because he didn’t learn it. But it’s really a stretch to excuse him for the degree of hysteria he provoked me to, he caused it by gaslighting me. He took no responsibility for it, would just get defensive and put it on me. Then he acted the victim and told me and everybody else who knew about it that he had no idea what he did wrong. Well, that’s all behind me now. It’s time to heal. I feel good about how I have had no emotional issues for months now. What a traumatic few decades of my life this has been. I’m lucky to have lived through it. I do not consider myself a victim. Honestly, I am coming out of this in a way I feel good about. I should be alright. I can even start to really discover myself, my abilities, maybe do something I can feel really good about. I just want healthy now. I am working hard at it. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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