When is divorce best for the kids - and when is it not?

I think it's obvious that in cases of abuse or drugs/alcohol/etc. - divorce is nearly always in the best interest of the children (and the abused parent).

But what about a civil marriage? No abuse, not a lot of fighting...but clearly not in love anymore?

Is it best to try and work things out to keep the family together - for the child?

Or is it best to just give up and face the facts that the marriage is never going to get any better?

Will my child be torn between two families for the rest of her life? Is that going to hurt her?

The sad part is...the biggest problem in our relationship is the lack of romance - mainly sex. But if I divorce him over something so trivial...then won't I just wind up alone and even more lonely in that department??!! What's the point.

We don't fight much, and we both try really hard to keep the "happy face" in front of our child. She is only 2-1/2 years old now, doesn't know a lot, but she can sense tension. My heart just aches to think of her being dragged between two houses for the rest of her life. I hear all those "studies" about how children of divorce end up with problems. I just want the best for her - even if I can't be happy, I want her to be happy.

But then again...I'm not sure how much longer I can keep pretending that I"m okay in this marriage. He doesn't love me. I'm not sure I love him. I've done some horrible things to him. I just don't know how much longer I can keep up the charade.