[sabby]

Well, it took me awhile, but I finally was able to remove my wedding ring and put it away. And..................I didn't cry, I didn't get super depressed and I didn't go off the deep end over it.

Amazing really....it's been such a short time since I found out the husband was going to divorce me. Yes, I call him "the husband" because he certainly isn't mine anymore.

I think the divorce will be a bit more diffiult than it was getting married in the first place. Since we married in Romania and will be divorcing in Romania....I won't be there for that part....this should be interesting

Now, I'm debating, do I want to keep the ring for "old times sake" or should I smash it and send it back to him with a "love" note?? It's not as if I don't have other things to remember him by. Ummm like a broken heart!!!

[nowheretorun]

awwww (((sabby))))) thats so hard.... maybe after smashing it you could jump up and down on it a few times also if you still dont feel some relief..... gosh, i'm really with you on this one.... you know you deserve the best, so i know you're on your way there already....

sending caring hugs..

[Lenny]

Good for you sabby...I know it is hard.

I don't know if there is anything more difficult than letting go of dreams. They so adorn us.

But sometimes reality so forces our hand and what we thought we wanted was simply not there.

Keep the ring,,,there will come a time when it will be usefull,,,sometimes old dreams are like that.

With care,

Lenny

Sabby (((((((((((((((lots of hugs and love))))))))This is just me but i would melt it down and treat myself to something nice! Just my 2 cents lol .... you are amazing, but you know that already right? You are one strong woman and he didn't deserve you anyways .... kiss kiss, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

love you

[sabby]

Thanks (((((((((((((((((((( nwtr ))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm not really sure what relief if any I would get from smashing it and jumping up and down on it. But I would get some closure if I went there and waited on his doorstep for him to come home from work......and confronting him. Right now I feel I have no closure.....guess it's something I still have to work through

[sabby]

((((((((((((((( Lenny ))))))))))))))) You may be right....but I'm not real sure how it could be useful except to remind me of the dream that never was meant to be. I do have a nice picture of our hands and rings after we were married. I'm thinking that should be good enough for "old times sake" kind of memories.

Yep, it is hard...no doubt about it. Not like I haven't been down the divorce road before....I should be used to it by now. Mom always told me if I was going to do something to do it right, well I certainly learned how to divorce right!

Could be I'm destined to be alone.....and you know, that's ok. I've learned I can do alone.

Thanks Lenny!

[sabby]

Awwww thanks (((((((((((((((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))))))))))))))))

The ring is not expensive, as we couldn't afford anything expensive....really not worth the trouble to melt it down and create something new. But thanks so much for the idea Much appreciated.

Not so sure about being amazing.....strong at times yes....but ya know...all these divorces either make ya or break ya....I'm not about to be broken Maybe someday I'll learn how to choose a mate.....anything is possible eh?

xoxoxo
sabby

((((((((sabby)))))))))))))))))))))
My friend....best advice I can give you is put it away for awhile
Then decide.................Now is not the time
You my friend are never destined to be alone...
Your heart is to big and kind ,,,,,
Sometimes these thing happen for a reason
not sure what...
But I know out there is the person for you
Your just too good of a person.....
((hugs)) for my friend.........

muffy

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((((( fluffiestmuffiest ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you!


sabby

[KathyM]

I wore my wedding ring on my right hand until my divorce was final. Then I put it away out of sight with other keepsake jewelry. On occasion I'd indulge in self-pity, take out the ring, have a good cry, then put it back. I cried less and less each time.

After a while, it was just another piece of jewelry to me. It felt good to see how far I'd come in healing. Now that I'm completely over the pain, it's a nice reminder of a huge obstacle I was able to overcome in life.

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. Congratulations in taking a big step toward healing.

[sabby]

((((((((((((( Kathy ))))))))))))) Thanks so much!

I have my rings from my other marriages....they don't and never did invoke as much pain or feeling of loss as this one does. This was a different marriage....one where I felt I had found my soulmate. But, onward and upward I say.....I look forward to finding out what is in store for me down this road of life

I completely understand how you managed through the pain and kept the ring as a token.....it's great you were able to work through it and move on.....and to see how far you came! Good for you Kathy!


sabby

[bebop]

I took mine to the pawn shop. I regret it today. there are times I really want to take it out to look at it. I say keep it but put it away for now.

[wounded1]

Isn't it amazing what a powerful symbol that one piece of jewelry is? Now that my husband and I are seperated (but still living together), every time I put it on I feel like I'm "telling a lie to the world". Yes, we are still married, but because he broke his vows, I feel like there's an invisible crack in the band.

I am so sorry your husband is causing you pain Sabby...it never ceases to amaze me how easily, suddenly and painfully marriages end. I can't believe I'm in that position myslef...

Keep the ring, when you come through the pain, there will be some good memories to think of when you look at it I'm sure. I'm trying to remember the good over the last seven years, and I see my ring is as reminder of those times. Our husbands are the ones who lose in the end, we grow stronger, they continue on in the same way.

I wish you strength and most of all PEACE.

[BrnEyedGrl]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
wounded1 said:
Keep the ring, when you come through the pain, there will be some good memories to think of when you look at it I'm sure. I'm trying to remember the good over the last seven years, and I see my ring is as reminder of those times. Our husbands are the ones who lose in the end, we grow stronger, they continue on in the same way.


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Wow, so true ((wounded)). Well said.

Sabby, Im sorry you are going through this painful experience. Coming from someone who has had her share of heartbreaks as well, I know it is hard to heal, but over time it just seems to get easier and easier little by little. I wish you all the best....

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((((((( wounded1 )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I so understand how you are feeling about wearing the rings. Yeah.....I think that's why I finally took mine off. It's not real anymore....it's not what we promised to each other anymore. It's done and over and I'm just waiting for the papers to sign. There was no warning....no inkling to him deciding that everything was over. That's what really struck me hard right upside the head ya know?

Even though I'm hurting right now, I can still remember the good times and smile. I have some wonderful memories...there is no doubt about it. But dang it...there is just a little bit in me that needs to lash out....in some way shape or form....and it doesn't even have to be bad....or mean spirited....just a cuff upside the head in some form....*sigh*

You are right, the husbands are the ones who are loosing, and we are going to grow strong from the experience. I will hold onto the ring for awhile....and we'll see how I feel in a few months

Thanks hon....I really appreciate your thoughts and wishes.


sabby

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((( bebop )))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you don't still have it.....but then again.....you have it in your memories...you have all your memories....and in the long run....isn't that all we really need?

xoxoxo
sabby

[sabby]

Thank you so much ((((((((((((((((BrnEyedGrl)))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you had the heartaches too....but we will survive! I wish you well too!


sabby