[agony007]

well because my hub is unstable after i asked him for the divorce. my pdoc suggested that i say that we would seperate first and use that time to reflect. (whatever) so i did that. but it backfired because my hub took that as oh well we are going to work this thing out. i have had it with his non-chalant attitude about this whole thing. and i told him that the seperation is going to ultimately lead to a divorce. so of course he threatened me about the car again and told me i have to get my own insurance (we are under his name, combined). blah blah blah. he told me that i cannot sleep in our room. that i better find someplace else to sleep. i told him that he has to leave as soon as possible. he told me it will be a couple of months before he can go. i told him that cannot be. i cannot live with him for a couple of months!! that'll drive me nuts. i am so tired of being nice to him. because every time i try to be honest with him he becomes vindictive. well u know what that is it, i am done with being the nice one in this relationship if he wants a war then there will be a war.

[sunrise]

agony, divorce is oh so hard. Good for you to stand your ground and make very sure your husband understood there was no hope for reconciliation. Clear communication is key and you are doing a good job.

Car--it is community property as your lawyer probably explained. He can't take it away.

Health Insurance--sign up at your job so you have independent coverage. (I remember in another thread you said you had this option, which will really be helpful.)

Husband moving out--ask your lawyer if there is anything that can be done to make this happen more quickly. I agree, another 2 months would be so stressful.

Sleeping separately--absolutely, do it! Even if you have to sleep on the couch, it is better than sharing a bed with someone you are determined to leave. The fact that your husband asked you to sleep in another room is a good sign to me--shows he is starting to separate and accept that you will not be together forever.

War--if at all possible, resist the impulse to wage a war with your husband. It only makes the divorce harder. Be firm, but civil, and consult with your divorce attorney when needed.

Good luck.

[sabby]

(((((((((((( agony ))))))))))))))))

Threats can be so hard to hear and deal with. In most states, I don't think that any changes can be made to anything until it is agreed upon by both parties or the judge in the case makes a decision about the community property and insurance for that matter.

I agree with sunrise...go sleep on the couch and speak to your attorney about how and when to get your husband out of the house.

The hardest thing through all of this will be your ability to not engage in bickering back and forth. It really gets you nowhere fast and makes things so much more anxious. I know how hard it is not to respond when he knows how to push your buttons. Lock them up tight girl.....you have the power to not react and not respond to his insults and crap. It will make him wonder what you are thinking and what you are up to.....not a bad thing eh? LOL

Wishing you well....and hope you find ways of dealing that are more helpful to you!


sabby

[TYMBERWOLV]

ag

this is a control tactic that he is using on you..... ever hear of a restrining order .... you know they do grant that and you know that will put him back on his heals cos of his profession




tymby

[crazybones]

if i was married and then got devorced i would not be an azz sometimes we are better of as friends your w/e you want to call him should grow up and relize things arent working and just go his own ways and if he thinks he is a man by treating you he isnt i am 17 an at this moment i am more of a man then him even for my age i am wise in the adult world i kinda favor to girls because of the simple fact girls can be emotional and caring when you need them most