Sometimes I feel so distant

<font color="purple">I know it's a growing pain right now, but I just feel too distant from my parents right now. Especialy my dad. I know it's foolish but I just havn't accepted my to-be-stepmom and her family into my own yet, that I'm still competing for the same attention. Yeah, my mind knows all about how things take time, about how there is more then one kind of love, my my heart begs to differ. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I am just not feeling close to anyone right now. It's different with my step-dad, I first met him after my parents divorced and I was about 6- we instantly clicked. He's just a really sweet guy.

I don't know, I think my bridge burned with them (my dad and to-be stepmom) when she wantd to show me something on my computer. Now, I'm a very private person, so I told her no. This really upset her, and things blew way out of control and it ended up as a fight between Dad and Stepmom vs. Me and my Brother. I told them that it's my computer, my space, and I have a right to tell pople no. My dad I guess begged to differ, imeadiately jumping to my to-be stepmom's side saying stuff like how she lets me use her computer and how "we bend over backwards for you" and that my actions were "so selfish" and that he raised me better. I even told him why, about how I was really paranoid at people looking at my stuff and he practicly took it as an insult. I was so worked up but he wouldn't leave me alone. My brother came over from his room and started shouting at him to leave me alone. Just typing this out makes me sad. Yeah, teenagers and parents get into fights, nothing new, big deal, but during how many fights do parents yell at their kids how selfish they are? And then threaten to break the door down when they're kicked out? And during how many fights do they just blindly follow their girlfriend who is hyper sensitive and insecure as it is, rather then the daughter he's raised for several years? The fight happened a few years ago, but it still affects me. My dad probably feels horrible about it, but I can't sincerly forgive and forget everything yet.

I know my parents love me, really, they do. But, they seem so distant now. It feels like everyone in the entire world has it worse then me, and I'm just being stupid to think that I have problems that I can't handle when everyone else handles them and more so beautifuly.</font>

(((((((((((((((kaika))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you are hurting right now.