[Jaydenwolf]

I got married at age 18, two days after I'd graduated mid-term from high school. For some reason I couldn't even process downsides to this decision. It was incredibly impulsive.
He was, however, my best friend for that time. Most of it really is a blur now, even though it just happened a couple of years ago.
We worked well together financially and in general.
To be honest, I don't remember what hit me so hard to leave him.
I remember feeling horribly sick to my stomach and dizzy.

I always tell people that I just left him to take a "break" and spend some time away from him... but to be honest, I had my resolve when I left. That's how I am. When I do something horrifying, I have to make my resolve.. and once it's set there is nothing in hell that changes it.
I'd told him not to make a mistake and leave everything, but he did. His $20/hr job, the apartment, his friends.. to follow me home and beat down my grandmothers door (where I was staying) at 3 AM raging mad because he thought I left to cheat on him.
This was followed by several threatening messages online after he hacked into my emails and myspace to read everything I'd been saying to anyone and printed out anything that looked suspicious to him.
He told me several times that he would make things as bad as possible because I deserved to hurt as much as I made him hurt.
It all ended up in a restraining order and the actual divorce, which I am still feeling the repercussions of.

The relationship started impulsively, the marriage started impulsively, and everything ended impulsively.
The next relationship I entered was even more impulsive then that!
It's difficult for me to control it, but now that I have a slight idea of what's going on up there it makes it easier to understand that what I'd be doing is rash.
It's just frustrating.

[Rosie7]

Hi. Goodness you sound like a younger me. I was engaged in highschool and supposed to go to my July wedding. Instead I got on a plane and went to Florida (Fort Lauderdale). I called a few days later and when I felt that my mom wasn't going to kill me I came home. That Sept. I started Nursing School. I met Mr. Right, my Doctor I was supposed to marry. I never finished my RN, hurried and got my LPN, worked while my new husband finished his Medical degree. After that and 2 kids later, I met the man of my dreams so I took the kids and left and divorced my Doctor and almost but didn't THANK YOU GOD, my new hero...and on and on and on. I'm 46. I'm living with my "soul mate". I'm also in treatment. My poor kids. My mother basically did the same thing. She was married 5 times. Now I'm trying to make my life right but at this particular moment, my boys are staying with their dad until I get my psych crisis under control. Good luck to you. Let me know if I can answer something for you. I have a diagnosis but it may be nothing like the one the docs will give you. Best of luck to you. Hang in there on the divorce part of this. Divorce totally sucks. I still haven't finished getting my due comings but I keep praying. My ex makes my life miserable every minute of every day. He's out for blood and has been. So has my first fiance. We are human and humans are made to err but it doesn't feel any better. Hang in there big time.