[sunrise]

For those who are already divorced: did you have to go to the courthouse at the end and appear before the judge? How was that? I guess I have to do this. I was thinking I wouldn't. Either one of the couple can do it with their lawyer. My L said if I went, she would come with me, and ask me some standard questions in front of the judge. Then it would be over.

Before I started on this path, I had this terror of going to the courthouse. I didn't really even know if you had to, but I just knew that going to the courthouse to end my marriage was not something I was capable of.

Now I kind of want to do this. It will give closure. I think I can handle it. If I'm sad, it's OK.

Things are coming to an end fast.

[sabby]

(((((((((( sunrise )))))))))))

Going to the courthouse isn't all too bad really. With your lawyer there, you will be supported in front of the judge or the magistrate. I went to the courthouse and sat before a magistrate who asked basic questions to make sure I understood what was happening and this was exactly what I wanted or needed to be done. It was pretty quick and fairly painless (as far as the courthouse was concerned). Of course, emotionally, the end of a relationship has it's ups and downs. But I think I agree with you on the closure part...but give yourself some leeway here....it will still hurt and still be a bit scary and sad. But you can do this.....you are not alone!


sabby

[bebop]

one thing too is that if you don't go and the spouse does you are not there to defend anything you might want out of the marriage. I would go just in case. it doesn't last long.

[allabout]

Does needing to go to the courthouse depend on whether or not you and your ex are agreeing on everything? I think I expected that at the end we would both go, with our respective lawyers. Would you mind keeping us posted on how it goes? I'm a few steps behind you, but curious about the process, too. Thanks!

[madisgram]

hi (((sunrise)))
it isn't too scary cause you've got your lawyer there with you. the one thing i remember distinctly was a sense of loss even tho i wanted the divorce. i guess it's a natural way for one to feel. so if you feel that way a little...don't be hard on yourself. hope this helps.

[sunrise]

Thank you, everyone. Yes, your words helped.

I did see my lawyer today and told her I wanted to be the one to go to the courthouse. So she and I will go shortly after the first of the year. If my H and his lawyer want to come along, they can, but it really takes just one party, my lawyer said. The judge will ask us some questions to make sure I agree with all that is in the legal documents and then I think that will be it.

Does needing to go to the courthouse depend on whether or not you and your ex are agreeing on everything?

allabout, my H and I are working stuff out in advance and will sign the papers together with our lawyers and then later one of us will go to the courthouse. I don't know how people do it who do not work everything out between themselves beforehand. But my L said that at minimum one of us has to go to the courthouse.

I had always pictured, that if I did go to the courthouse, that I would go to the big courthouse downtown, where I have served on jury duty twice and went to my court-ordered parenting seminar. I was just there last week for something. It's an old building with polished wood benches in the courtrooms, marble floors, ornate chandeliers, etc. Lots of history there. But my L works in an outlying suburb, so we will go to a satellite courthouse near her office, where a magistrate comes just twice a week. It's not what I pictured--probably more of a modern office building, etc., without the history and stature of the other place. But my L said the wait will be shorter, and her time is my money, so yeah, let's do it!

[sabby]

If you and your soon to be ex have hashed through the whole thing before going to the courthouse, then it's a mere formality and like you said, a few questions asked to make sure there is understanding and then you are on your way. Mine took a whole 5-10 minutes....after waiting an hour and a half to be called...LOL. I hope it goes easily for you and that you go out and do something special for yourself afterwards.....you deserve it!


sabby

[Lemon]

Neither me or my exH had to go to the courthouse. After we each individually signed the divorce papers they were filed with a judge who signed them without either of us having to be there. I was glad I didn't have to go, but I think all of you have a good point about closure. I remember my L calling me at work to tell me the judge had signed off on our divorce and it was official. I didn't know what to do and wasn't really close enough to anyone at work to have a conversation about it. I think it would have been nice to have some sort of formality to it.

It does seem strange that only one of the parties has to go. I would think the requirement would be both if the point is to make sure the divorce documents are understood. Oh well, lots of things aren't logical I guess.

Good luck sunny, it will be a way to mark the new year.

[addiedewiitt]

Good Luck! Sunrise....Yes you will have closure, then you will open up another book in your life where you will get to know yourself, learn about yourself and BE yourself.

[little*rhino]

many blessings sunrise.. you are such a strong person.