[sunrise]

I could care less about his money, but who is he to judge me for getting divorced? It's not like he's part of a religion where divorce is not accepted. I don't see him often, as he lives half a world away, but the last time I saw him, about a year ago, someone in my family had told him I was getting divorced. I met up with him and he was very hostile and critical and negative about every topic we tried to talk about. He revealed deep hostility towards our parents, including little things like getting upset bcause they own "too many books" in his opinion, and this hostililty seemed to date back to childhood. He was still harboring a huge grudge toward them over many things. He was very critical of everyone and everything and said the weirdest things. He argued with me about trivialities, hinted his disapproval about my divorce but wouldn't really talk about it (that's fine, I don't need to confide in him), just slipped a dig in every now and again. Plus, he was very hostile towards my daughter when we spoke of her. Where was this all coming from? I guess now I know--he was mad at me for getting divorced.

He is in town this week (no plans to see me). My sister, a lawyer, said he came to her today, and requested that she redo his will, and write me out of it. (He is not married and has no children, so previously he was leaving each of his 3 sibs some of his estate.)

I don't care about the money. It's his judgment that I don't like. Does he know anything about my marriage and how it was? No.

He told my sister he is writing me out because he doesn't want his money to go to me, that he prefer my other sister get it (not the lawyer sister) because she needs it more. My lawyer sister pointed out that if that was his reason for distributing his money, that it actually was not true and she told him I was the one in most financial need. He said that's a problem of her own making, if she had stayed married she would be fine financially. My sister said well it sounds like you don't want part of your estate to go to her not because of who needs the money most but because you like her less than our other sister. He said, yes, that's true, and I don't really like you either, so you can write yourself out of the will too, and I'll leave it all to the sister I do like.

Well, okey dokey.

And then my sister said, she could do that for him, but not for free--he could pay her usual rates. And he got pissed off and left.

Joy. Families.

I wonder why my brother should care so much that I am getting divorced? I see him only every couple of years and he never shows interest in me. Why all of a sudden does he care (in a judgmental way) about what I am doing with my life?

I guess it hurts that he would think so ill of me for getting divorced, jump to conclusions about why (he must see it as all my fault or not justified, or something), and almost want to see me struggle financially so that I get some sort of "punishment" for doing this. Whatever.

[bearchic34]

Honesty? Sounds like he's a controling pig. If it isn't want he wants you don't get squat. Apparent he feels you have to put with whatever horror your husband wants to be on bro's good side. Did he pick hubby for you? May he has a 'special bond ' with your ex and is upset ......i dunno begining to ramble....still a douche bag tho!!! Grrrrrrrrr