[avoice]

ok here it is I developed ed when I was 36 and at that time I weigh 201 and was very ashmed of myself so I went into starvation mode and lost a lot of weight got down 99 pounds my husband came home one night and found me almost dead. If it wasen't for him I would be dead. It started when he did the unthinkable thing to me. and that is how it started 99 pounds I was proud than. When I think back i'm not proud of 99 pounds.

[SWA 1971]

Originally Posted by avoice

ok here it is I developed ed when I was 36 and at that time I weigh 201 and was very ashmed of myself so I went into starvation mode and lost a lot of weight got down 99 pounds my husband came home one night and found me almost dead. If it wasen't for him I would be dead. It started when he did the unthinkable thing to me. and that is how it started 99 pounds I was proud than. When I think back i'm not proud of 99 pounds.

I'm so sorry! I'm so glad your husband found you! How are you doing now? When I became anorexic, I was already at a low weight but wanted to get even thinner. I did & felt bad emotionally & physically. Thanks to my psychologist, dietician, family, & friends, I'm much better. If I can get better, so can you! Please take care of yourself.

[avoice]

Originally Posted by SWA 1971

I'm so sorry! I'm so glad your husband found you! How are you doing now? When I became anorexic, I was already at a low weight but wanted to get even thinner. I did & felt bad emotionally & physically. Thanks to my psychologist, dietician, family, & friends, I'm much better. If I can get better, so can you! Please take care of yourself.

I'm doing better I still need to gain weight it is so hard. People say to me just eat. They don't understand why that is so hard. Thanks for thinking about me.

[matt c]

Hi avoice! I dont have any great insights to offer, except to say that Im glad to hear that you are doing better, even if it is as you say, so very hard.

Keep posting....even if its just to let us all know how you are doing..any small improvements can also help encourage others.

Welcome to Psychcentral - Im sure you'll find lots of support here.
& Best Wishes for the New Year,


Matt C

[SWA 1971]

You're welcome, avoice! I think people who've never had an ED will never understand & know what it feels like! My former boss doesn't. The last job I had for 2 1/2 years & a coworker (who later left to take another job several months after I started) are what caused me to become anorexic. I was in therapy from Dec. 11, 2007-Aug. 10, 2009; a few months before I left my job to go back to school, my boss & I were talking & the subject of ED came up. She said it had been a year & a half, referring to how long I'd been in therapy. If I could have, I would have said "(Insert name here) & this job caused me to get sick! Once I'm out of here, I will be fine!" (and I was & am now)

Like I said, recovery isn't easy, at least for me. I don't know about you, but I felt like ED had become my identity. I think one thing that stops me from going back again to ED is remembering how I felt emotionally & physically. By the way, are you still in therapy? I can't remember. Please take care of yourself. If I can make it, you can, too!

[Bill3]

They don't understand why that is so hard.

Can you put into words some of what makes eating so hard for you?

It started when he did the unthinkable thing to me.

Do you mean to say that your ED began when your husband did something unthinkable to you?

[avoice]

When my ed is in mode I stop eating and when I want to starting again it is so hard and I cant eat sometimes it will last for 4 to 5 days. Than a boost will help me get back on tract. I'm not in any therapy right now. I do see a meds Dr once a month.