[tifferific]

Alone I began,I would try to eliminate the every reason that I was tainted. As he took one more poke at me.
Alone I would cry, so many people around but noone to talk about growing up and how hard that would be.
Alone I moved myself to college, alone I've paved my way, Alone my heart keeps breaking.
It can't let anyone in anyway. Alone I look at the sunbeams ans I wish to climb abord.
Alone is were ill be when I decide I just I can't take being alone anymore.

Another to the heart of the matter piece Tiffer.

Your not alone in your aloneness . Because I'm there too.as are some others.

Patricia

[eskielover]

I am also alone......even though I have 6 eskie dogs, I am alone when it comes to having human contact.

I find that alone in some ways is better for me though....for alone, I HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE for my health.....there is no one to care or to bother or to take care of me if I get too weak to take care of myself like has happened in the past.

It sort of makes me realize that I want to take care of me for ME (& for my dogs).....but I don't like that weak shakey feeling that hits & it's even more scary when it hits & I am alone.

It makes me realize that I really do care about myself & what happens to me.

Some parts of being alone are the best thing that has ever happened to me.....while the quiet is defining, it is a pleasant relief from the past experiences.

Hope someday you will find that your alone will be your peace.


Debbie

[tifferific]

Originally Posted by eskielover

I am also alone......even though I have 6 eskie dogs, I am alone when it comes to having human contact.

I find that alone in some ways is better for me though....for alone, I HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE for my health.....there is no one to care or to bother or to take care of me if I get too weak to take care of myself like has happened in the past.

It sort of makes me realize that I want to take care of me for ME (& for my dogs).....but I don't like that weak shakey feeling that hits & it's even more scary when it hits & I am alone.

It makes me realize that I really do care about myself & what happens to me.

Some parts of being alone are the best thing that has ever happened to me.....while the quiet is defining, it is a pleasant relief from the past experiences.

Hope someday you will find that your alone will be your peace.


Debbie

Ours are very different my friend. If I get comfortable and accept my aloneness, then I freely give my life.

Originally Posted by tifferific

Ours are very different my friend. If I get comfortable and accept my aloneness, then I freely give my life.

sounds like surrender to me. like when one is loosing thier life they find it.

Be well Tiffer.

Patricia

[tifferific]

Originally Posted by Anonymous289133

sounds like surrender to me. like when one is loosing thier life they find it.

Be well Tiffer.

Patricia

Very far off. So very far off.
Please get out of my head!

[eskielover]

The thing is that we have to live because we want to....not for someone else. When we allow our life to be dependent on others, they will always fail us. All reasons to live & to not give our lives has to come from within ourselves.....hope someday you will come to this understanding. Healing & wanting to heal comes from within ourselves. Hopefully you will find this strength.

[tifferific]

I think that the strength has more to do than just be found. If it was that easy I'd have done it long ago.
I know I have to do it for me. But with constant negative negative negative, its hard to be good, to oneself. When you want to be perfect. Or make anyone happy.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by tifferific

I think that the strength has more to do than just be found. If it was that easy I'd have done it long ago.
I know I have to do it for me. But with constant negative negative negative, its hard to be good, to oneself. When you want to be perfect. Or make anyone happy.

You are right, the strength to want to heal & to heal has more to do than just be found. There has to be a desire for it before it can be found & there has to be the right mind set to find it also.

Having all this negatives around you, a desire to be perfect , or just to make others happy, sound like you have some things that need to get in order & work on if they are keeping you from doing it for yourself. When there are things going on in our life that are keeping us from being healthy, then those are the things we need to work on if we can't on our own, then work on them in therapy.

Look like you have a whole list of things to work on with a therapist that you have going on between several of your posts. Maybe you should make a list of them & take them with you to therapy & start to work on them since they are your list of things that are keeping you from getting better.

Something you might think about doing.....hoping that you will come to the point in your life where you are able to change these things & get well

Debbie