[BamaSurvivor]

I've had a problem with bulimia since I was around 10 years old... It's like I'm a binge bulimic at times. I'll go 6 or 7 months without purging, then I'll go on a two or three month purging binge. Anyway, I haven't purged in a couple months now, but my eating is getting out of control. I was on a healthy diet, eating lots of fruits and veggies and very little red meat. Then all at once, I started eating any and everything in sight. I eat sweets, drink sweet drinks, eat all meats, and very little veggies anymore. After every meal, I want to purge sooo bad but I don't let myself. But it's starting to become overwhelming. What can I do to gain back my healthy eating habits? It seems I'm becoming obsessed with food, and I don't want it to get that way.

[wi_fighter]

Hey Bama. I don't have an eating disorder, but I do have bad eating habits. Too much sugar and carbs and not enough fruits and veggies. And occasionally I eat to the point of wanting to throw up to relieve some of the bloat.

I've recently decided that the only way to eat better is to just do it. And if you have a slip and eat a bunch of junk, try not to dwell on it and just start over again, just like you do with your AODA.

I don't know about you, but I feel better all around when I eat healthier and drink lots of water. I even feel better emotionally because I'm doing something good for myself.

Here's what I've started doing - fruits and veggies are expensive around here, so I try to buy what's in season or on sale. I bought 2 cases of bottled water when it was on sale 2 for 1, and I freeze a few bottles at a time. Icy water just tastes better to me, and it fills me up enough that I don't want to eat cookies and chips (as much). I bought a mini trampoline this weekend and it's the easiest, funnest, quietest exercise I've ever done. I hope this is the exercise that I actually stick to, because I can feel a difference after just three days. Even my upper arms have that "I just did a bunch of curls" ache to them. I also notice when I exercise that I don't want to eat junky and undo the good work I did.

This is coming from a nearly-certified couch potato/junk foodie, and I'm finally starting to make some positive changes. I love my mom to death, but I share her body habitus and I really don't want to look like she does when I'm 70 with cholesterol through the roof. I really don't think it's ever too early or too late to make positve changes.

I hope you can get back to your healthy ways soon. I know you can do it.

(((((((((((Bama))))))))))

[BamaSurvivor]

((((((((((Shirley))))))))))

Good suggestions... Will go to the market this evening and see if the strawberries and peaches look any good. Those are my two favorite fruits. Will also get some carrots, broccoli and low fat ranch dressing if they have it. I've always liked those two veggies dipped in ranch. Yum! I've been trying to do palites(sp?), but I can't seem to stick to it. I'll try harder. May try getting in a routine of walking at the track... I hear walking is the best exercise for you.

[wi_fighter]

Two other good foods that give you that fatty, creamy food satisfaction are avocados and frozen bananas. I'll slice up a banana and freeze it and it's pretty close to having an ice cream texture. Your mouth thinks it's getting ice cream, but the rest of you knows otherwise. Frozen grapes are really good too.

I don't think I'll ever get over my love of steaks on the grill though.

Healthy food habits sure can be tough sometimes, can't they?

[BamaSurvivor]

Yes they can...

I've tried frozen grapes, really good!

(((((((((BamaSurvivor)))))))))))

Just wanted to encourage you to keep on trying. I know its hard when we have a relapse, but getting up is the success of life.

[BamaSurvivor]

((((((((((esthersvirtue)))))))))) Thank you muches! I am trying, very hard. Ate a chicken salad today and a ham and turkey sub from Subway... Only had one sweet drink today, which was an energy drink. So I've did alright today.

[Gemstone]

((((((Bama))))))

I am sorry you are having a rough time. I have a really hard time with eating related issues too. Hang in their. You can do it.

[BamaSurvivor]

(((((GEM)))))

Thanks, I kinda flubbed today... Feel bad about it. Ate a chicken sandwhich and fries and three hours later ate a cheeseburger. I seriously considered purging, but my moms been around all day and I know how she is, she'd suspect something.

Bama.. wanted you to know that you encouraged me to eat healthy yesterday. I broke a binge cycle and went to eat at souper salad. Thanks for telling me about your subway excursion

[BamaSurvivor]

Yay! Glad you ate healthy yesterday! Makes me smile.

[MacD]

((((((Bama))))))) No easy answers here, but my T says that when my eating is out of control, it's a symptom of something else that's off balance or bothering me....He says that when I figure out the real source of my pain, the eating will regulate itself...so far...he's been right....Anything else going on? love...grace

[BamaSurvivor]

Very accurate. I've been under a lot of anxiety and stress and food has been my comfort. I'll try holding myself back from eating junk food, and within an hour I'm in the kitchen digging in. Hate it!

[bebop]

I think overeating is also an eating disorder...well to me it is anyway. I can't seem to control mine at least.

[BamaSurvivor]

Yes, overeating is an eating disorder, especially when you're eating to fill some sort of void. I overeat to fill my lonliness and anxiety... It's starting to not work so well anymore, though.

[jesseryn]

Hi, I totally understand where you are coming from. Especially the last line of your message, "it seems I'm becoming obsessed with food..." that was my life for as long as I can remember. I had full fledged eating disorders starting at age 15, I was anorexic and developed amenoerhea; at 18 I cracked under the pressures of college and started binge eating for months with no purging, then purging for months. Your story struck me because I am quite similar in that I was on a healthy diet, then crashed into a sort of bottomless pit mode. Even when I had binged on everything in sight and was literally sick to my stomich, with my stomich bulging because of the shear volume of how much I had consumed, I still wasn't full. Then I would purge, and the guilt would be gone, but purging just extends the cycle.
Ok, so it gets better. Up to a couple weeks ago I was still purging, but my hunger is ceasing rapidly, and more importantly I'm developing skills to "tame" my emotional and impulsive desires to eat. Mostly, I started by doing what you're doing, by eating a healthy diet. But I realized that as a former anorectic, I held WAY to high of standards for weight loss. SO, I started giving myself little allowances, things I hadn't had in six plus years (food and emotional deprivations) that were causings my food obsession (like full fat dressing on salad). Most likely, you too have some things that you've been denying yourself that you can eventually learn to give back to yourself in a healthy portion. This built the first step of trusting myself again with food, and that led to a greater acceptance/trust in the natural fluctuations of my body. Also, I realized that (duh) my food issues= not being good enough for myself, and that working through that (even by combating an episode by saying "I am good enough" seems to be reaffirming) should be a priority.
Also, I was given a low dose SSRI (lexapro) to lower hunger. I don't know if this is standard practice, but it did help to dull my hunger a bit. Now I'm on a mood stabilizer for Bipolar and to control hunger (topamax -- very helpful).
May I ask what you think brought on your bulimia?
Sorry that this is so long, if you need to talk anytime my e-mail is jesseryn@hotmail.com.

[BamaSurvivor]

What started my bulimia? My dad telling me I was fat when I was real young and people as school picking on me... One day I seen a program on bulimia on tv and seen how these girls lost weight doing it and I thought I'd try it. I did and felt release. Haven't purged in awhile, but have felt the urge to MANY times, almost daily.

Also, I've started a new diet, it's a diet my mother is on and has lost 40 pounds on it so far within 6 months. It's a no sugar no white flour diet. You can eat french fries, chips and dip, sugar free candies, meat, most veggies, some fruits, so many things you CAN eat on this diet. I started it almost two weeks ago and have lost 5 pounds so far. I've also started jogging/walking at the track a few miles up the road. I do that 3 times a week and do a few exercises beforehand. My doctor also has me on a couple medications that are supposed to curb my appetite a little. Provigil and Focalin. Am also on Lithium and Abilify and Seroquel, but those don't help with my appetite. So far so good on this diet, I'm hoping I can stay determined enough to make it last.

Also, I'm glad you've developed some healthy eating patterns instead of purging. I really hope you are able to stick to it. I know how damaging and depressing purging can be. One side of you is happy because you're losing weight, while the other half of you is miserable because you don't want to live life this way.