[AkAngel]

My wife was on her way to her last ed class... a group workshop that she had been going to once a week for ten weeks. On her way to the class she passed the nurses station and the head nurse said, "Damn girl, you've put on some serious weight lately."

Seriously? My wife has actually lost weight since the class started but that's not really the point... I so don't like people sometimes.

[*freak*]

I know what you mean. It makes my jaw drop every time I see how those who are supposed to be the most sensitive (and sensible) can be so inappropriate. I think I'll never get used to it.

A nurse from the mental health center I'm going to said the same thing to me last month. I was really triggered and it still makes me uncomfortable when I think about it, so I understand how upset your wife (and consequently you) must have been. I'm really sorry this happened

[Maxime]

That's just wrong. How to mess with one person's brain that is already struggling. I find that doctors and nurses just don't understand EDs and know what is triggering to say. They should have to take a course on EDs.

[whoswho]

I know what you mean.

In the very early stages of my ED (when I was actively denying it), I told my therapist that I thought I looked like "hideous fat monster." Her bright idea was: "Well, have you ever considered going on a diet?"

Apparently, she felt that I lacked the cognitive ability to think of such a solution to my problem. And I wasn't even overweight at the time. So I went on a diet--and now look at me: stuck with an ED. Funny how that happens.

[Lisa Michelle]

Very sorry to hear such an inappropriate comment was said to your wife! Does the nurse know she has an eating disorder? Comments about weight, even if they're meant to be positive, can be so triggering. Do you think the nurse was saying it in a good way, as in she was too thin before? Or was she actually really saying "you're fat" --- to say that to ANYONE is wrong.
I'm glad your wife can share with you and I hope she's handling the comment ok. Hope she has learnt a lot in the classes and can maybe deal with it a bit easier than before. x

[AkAngel]

Originally Posted by Lisa Michelle

Do you think the nurse was saying it in a good way, as in she was too thin before? Or was she actually really saying "you're fat" --- to say that to ANYONE is wrong.

No, my wife is a bit overweight according to medical standards (but perfect to me always )... the nurse was just being mean. She knew she was going to her ED class, she knew she has issues with her weight, it was mean-spirited...this type of thing is not new.

[Lisa Michelle]

That's really shocking, AkAngel, is there any way you could make a complaint? Or do you just want to forget it? Again, I hope you wife is doing ok. It's really the nurse we should feel sorry for, for feeling the need to be spiteful to another person, just for the sake of it.. she must really not be a very nice or happy person x

[AkAngel]

Originally Posted by Lisa Michelle

That's really shocking, AkAngel, is there any way you could make a complaint? Or do you just want to forget it? Again, I hope you wife is doing ok. It's really the nurse we should feel sorry for, for feeling the need to be spiteful to another person, just for the sake of it.. she must really not be a very nice or happy person x

I could make a complaint but that would be ill-advised. Nothing will be done and my wife will face retribution. My wife is in prison and as comments go, this one is pretty benign. It is par for the course but remaining indignant about such things helps from becoming institutionalized.

Three years ago my wife was raped by a guard. I was asked, "So, do you still think you're going to be able to satisfy your wife when she comes home, now that she's had a real man?" It's a powerless situation; you take it and protect yourself the best you can.

You're right, the nurse is not a happy person...nor is the guard who raped her, or the one who made the comment to me, or the ones that... feeling sorry for them is beyond my day to day capacity though.

[SWA 1971]

Originally Posted by AkAngel

My wife was on her way to her last ed class... a group workshop that she had been going to once a week for ten weeks. On her way to the class she passed the nurses station and the head nurse said, "Damn girl, you've put on some serious weight lately."

Seriously? My wife has actually lost weight since the class started but that's not really the point... I so don't like people sometimes.