[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

I hate that I can't stop eating when I am starting to go into a manic episode of my bipolar. It sucks I literally can't control how much I eat and I feel like I am getting fat again. I just wish I could go back to not eating anything. I love the empty feeling for some reason. It makes me feel light even though I weigh the same as I do when I actually eat . I just need help. Sorry about the rant. But I had to get it out.

[whoswho]

How are you feeling now?

Are you seeing a psychiatrist? Maybe getting your bipolar under control would stabilize your eating? That's what I had to do. I used to binge during mania and starve during depressed cycles. But I've found that the more stable my mood, the more stabilized my eating is.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

I am feeling overwhelmed now with school and everything else going on. I am currently seeing a psychiatrist and I have yet to tell him about my concerns with my eating habits. And that's a good point about getting my bipolar under control, I was crawling into a manic episode that's why I was binge eating now that I think about it. Maybe I don't have an ED maybe it is just my bipolar acting up.

[whoswho]

Well, no one online can give you a definitive diagnosis, unfortunately. It could be the result of bipolar, or it could be an eating disorder. Only you know this. That's why it's important to bring this up with your PDoc.

I'm sorry you're stressed with school. I can certainly relate! Please let your PDoc know. How are they supposed to help you if they don't know what's going on?

Take care of yourself.

[itspeaks]

I find when I am very stressed out I binge eat and when I am more depressed/upset I starve. If you wanna talk ever feel free to PM me sounds like we might be kind of similar with our eating habits.

[brokengirl001]

hello there, i am bopolar and having an eating disorder also and i am terrified of gaining weight so my psychiatrist prscribed me topamax which is a mood stabalizer but it does not make you gain weight. it can actually help you lose weight. just thought i would let you know incase you would like to dicuss this with your psychiartrist. PM me anytime you would like to talk also becasue i know what your going through. (((((hugs))))

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

Thank you brokengirl and itspeaks. I have just been struggling so much with my eating lately and how I feel about myself its crazy and it's so overwhelming. I should be studying for finals this week but instead I'm obsessing about what I'm eating and if my eating to much will make me fat. Maybe it is my bipolar acting up and maybe I don't have an ED.

A little more information on how I eat or how I feel:

When I eat I feel horribly guilty as if I don't deserve the food I'm eating. What makes it worse is being around my tiny sister who ways less than me but is taller than me. I go through moments where I try to starve myself as long as I can (I usually break around dinner time when my boyfriend takes me out to eat), then I feel horrible after eating. I enjoy the feeling of emptiness. It makes me feel light and carefree. Eating even the slightest amount of food sends me over and I get upset. I actually started crying the other day because I ate to much in one day. My boyfriend was concerned and didn't really know what to do. I'm kinda lost. I see my doctor on the 14th of this month though so I guess I could bring it up with him.

Also I feel like I might have body dysmorphic disorder. I feel that I am fat and ugly even though I am told daily by not only my boyfriend, that I am pretty. I just can't seem to see it. Can anyone give me some help on this?