[leyton]

Hi,

I am a recovering anorexic/over-exerciser. I just got out of IP program few days ago. I was in only in there 10days and not nearly enough time for me to get a better gasp on how to cope with the behaviors. I was hoping after IP discharge I could step down a level of care an IOP or residential program. My insurance and lack of help in my state is my obstacle. I returned back home to my PCP, therapist, nutritionist. I have zero support and really alone and struggling.

I am having a hard time with the meal plan. It is too much food and my stomach is hurting. I told my N this and she wants to keep it where it is for now. I am on a wt gain MP the thing I am having a problem with is how fast the wt is coming on and I feel like this is out of control. All the ed thoughts are kicking up that I am getting fat and I should exercise and I been fighting to do that - i try to journal, meditate, write affirmations, watch movies, do something nice for myself - bubble bath goto cafe, puzzles and doing art projects.

I realize my body needs this food to heal and my body needs the rest but the wt gain is happening to fast and with no one to talk to makes it hard.


~leyton

[Elli-Beth]

Hi Leyton! I totally understand. I freak when my calorie count has to be bigger than I think it should, but I'm still at an ok bmi and not overweight, so I'm slowly learning to trust it. It's a rough road and really uncomfortable and scary, but you're not alone!

[leyton]

I just wish it would slow down and give my head time to process and be ok with it!! It's really overwhelming it happening so quickly. What scares me I was overweight most of my life and thought of going back scare the ***** out of me.

Today I am struggling to keep with the meal plan not due to wanting to restrict - it's too dang hot out and I woke up late because it was still humid so tossed and turned a bunch last night. So I missed breakfast and am snack already and lunch isn't even looking good at this point. I dont even want coffee and thats not like me.

Yesterday i struggled with meal plan and got sick (not purposely) because it was was so dang hot. I emailed my N to see what I can do...

[Porcelain_doll_2004]

Thinking about you and sending you supporting thoughts!