[blackdragon]

Well i have been purge free for about three weeks and today i gave in. I have gained 10 pounds and now that wouldnt be scary to me if i was in the 100's but im in the 200's. I now weigh 235 pound insead of 225. That scared me to death. I hate the food in my house even ramen noodles scare me. I need to loose 40 lbs by feb 38. i need to get into the 100's when i reach 150 i will be happy. I know i will because i was at the verge of 300 pounds and being down into a normal weight range would be heaven.

I must not eat for the rest of the day. i had this carnation breakfast crap go through my system allready so no more food. that should carry me through the rest of the day. I do not want to gain anymore weight. i want to loose, not gain.

[backandforth]

((((blackdragon))))) if you don't eat for the rest of the day you're kind of setting yourself up for a binge and purge cycle, b/c your body is screaming for energy. I know it's very difficult and it's tempting to skip meals and cut down on cals but they always do catch up w/ you in the end... you CAN get to an ideal weight but I think that you can only stay at that weight if you learn healhty eating habits and have a lifestyle that supports that weight (healthy diet, exercise...)... you said you gained 10lbs. a lot of that might just be water weight or being bloated from eating after restricting.

trust me, I know all of this is easier said than done. I'm just trying to think of things I've learned and have been through... you said you hate the food in your house. I tend to be triggered by certain foods, events etc. and yeah I also just purge even w/out a binge, but again, probably not so much on a really healthy meal... could you go out and buy foods you feel comfortable with? keep in mind that you DO need a balanced diet to give yourself enough energy, you ultimately won't gain weight b/c of this (maybe once you start eating more) but it's the extra food, comfort food, constant starve/b&p cycle that makes you gain weight.... I'm sorry I don't know if you are seeing a T or if your doctor knows... can you talk to them about it? do you have a doctor you trust and can sit down w/ and come up w/ a good plan to get to your ideal weight goal??? if there is anything I can do let me know, you're going through a lot of things right now, maybe some of that is contributing to feeling so bad about the added weight...