[LivinWithED]

Okay so here's my story. I'm 17 years old and a junior in high school. i didn't really get bad until this year. I used to have a meal plan that i would follow and i exercised regularly. I lost weight the healthy way, then it caught up to me and i ate too much. i tried for the longest time to throw up but it didn't work. then one day i just forced myself and i didn't quit until i did. It felt like victory but it was only the beginning of a long journey of binging and purging.

Last summer i went down to visit my dad for the summer and i got a job at a waterpark. When i was down there i never really ate. i basically lived on one yogurt in the morning which i burnt off on the treadmill, lemonade, gum and a serving of mints(3 pieces). My day consisted of getting up and having a yogurt while i watched fashion shows on the style network for modivation, then i would ride my bike to work which was about a mile, then run on the treadmill when i got there to burn off the yogurt that i had eaten. After that i would teach swim lessons then go to work at the waterpark. I never really had the urge to eat when i was there and when i got home my dad wouldn't make supper till around 10:00 at night. i would go run outside for about an hour and tell him that i wasn't hungry after running 5 or 6 miles. He never really questioned what i did.

Then i went to visit my best friend who i moved away from in the eighth grade. When i was there i found out that she was anorexic and had the same thoughts that i did. i confided in her and she confided in me. Together we made it through a week without eating, then we went to the library to reasearch anorexia and bulimia and the librarians called her mom. Dumb move i know. we started hiding not eating by making food then throwing it away and lying about eating. Then we went to the beach and showed off how skinny we were. After that we binged and i gained 7 pounds which put me at 122.

When i got home i couldn't stop binging and since then i've become really bad. my mom found out and took me to a councelor but i stopped after one visit because my mom thought i was getting better. She was wrong, very wrong. i can't bring myself to tell just how bad i've gotten. I dont want to be this way, but i also dont want to get fat.

[Genevieve]

All I can say is that you need to get professional help. Period. You stopped seeing that counselor after only one visit? That's not nearly enough, and if your mother thinks that you can be "fixed" in an hour, it might help if you could get some information about it to her. A good book is Surviving an Eating Disorder. Maybe see if you can get it at the library, and offer it to your mother?

Whatever you do, though, get help now. Not later, but now. I go to a support group for people with eating disorders, and you know what? It never gets better on its own. It only gets worse. And the longer you wait before getting help, the worse it gets.

Get help now. And good luck.

think about your future.. honestly... im 28 and bulimic. Think about where you want to be when your 28. Get therapy now. That doesnt mean you will stop immediately, but it means you want to be doing something more constructive at 28 then binging and purging. Take care of yourself!

[veritymoon]

like everyone has already said you need to get professional help as soon as possible i buried my head in the sand for so long refusing help refusing to admit there was a problem. you already have concerns or you would not have posted so please listen to yourself please confine in someone you can trust . i wasted so long locked away in my own ed and yes getting help is hard tub its much better than feeling so alone and ill. if you ever need a chat im about. verity x