I am having trouble finding a balance between overeating and basically starving myself. Before I always ate to much, now im trying to lose all the weight I've gained, but I find myself starving myself afraid of eating to much and gaining more, I mean, the starving works, but I know its unhealthy and has many bad side effect. So I want to try to do it healthier, and avoid slipping into something like anorexia or bulimia, I find myself obsessing about calories alot. What is the minimum amount of calories a person should take, and what kinds of foods are the best for you, and how do you balance losing weight and still staying healthy?

[MrsBee]

My dear, let me explain this to you, as long as you allow weight and calories and food take front seat in your ride of life you will NEVER find a balance. You have already had an excellent revelation in admitting that starving yourself and overeating are unhealthy, some people stay in denial about that forever.

Stop right now and look at yourself, not in the mirror, not in any reflective surface, not for any physical reason, but look at yourself in the inside. Your inner voice should tell you exactly what you need and how much of it. I've struggled with this for a long time, and I've realized that the only healthy decisions I make aren't about calories or "good" and "bad" foods, its about what makes me happy at that time.

Once you find a peace with who you are, you'll find your body reaching its own balance. Thats where I am right now, sure, I have a few things that I see when I look in the mirror that may not be what is published in fashion magazines, but at the same time I see an inner calm and peace. A balance. Its a good feeling, better than any daze from starvation or binge on cookies.



Hopefully this helps. I'm here for you!

-mrs. bee

[DoesNormailtyExist]

I really love Mrs. Bee's post. It has way more to do with inner pace, and how happy you are in your life, than actual food. You need to learn to love yourself unconditionally before that true balance with food can take place.

One important thing is When you eat too little calories, your body will always indefinitely want everything insight, I've been on that rollercoaster for too many years. Your body needs more food than you think.

In addition, how much stress you have in your life also plays an important role in your eating habits. I alllllllways have turned to Mcdonalds, Taco bell, Ice cream etc etc etc subconciously after feeling stressed out, hurt or just plain ol' tired. The #1 thing you can do is learn your emotions, feeling down is a natural part of life, How we handle it makes all the difference. So #1 Love yourself unconditionally, force that smile on & #2 allow yourself those 3-6 healthy servings everyday, Don't starve yourself. Much Love.

[MrsBee]

Hey, great point Normality. I too turn to The Fresh Market (a delicious grocery store known for their huge bulk bins of candy and sweets) when I get over stressed. Sometimes I realize I'm doing it, and most of the time I'm able to stop myself. Recently I have been able to take whatever was going to "make my stress better" and throw it in the trash before I ever get to the car.

Thats another thing you might want to focus on too, perhaps you have static in your life causing stress. Simplicity has really helped me, decluttering your mind can almost make your brain more productive in positive ways. I kind of look at it like when I clean off my work desk, I look around and see nothing but wide open space to create on and work on.

My ex-husband had a great saying "fake it till you make it". It worked until you realize you have all those emotions still in there with no place to go. Find a healthy (i emphasize) healthy outlet.

[Woundedheart1]

Mrs bee has a great post. I've been stuck in a terrible place for way too many years normal is different for everyone depending on a lot of factors and your best bet would be is to talk to a nutrionist and talk out your concerns and fears and see what she or he advises for you specifically ! I can empathize with the wanting to be consumed with thinking about calories. Matter of fact there've consumed my life for three decades and I'd do anything to change it anything! I'm miserable every day bc it's all I think about I been in and out of more hospitals than I can count, I can't work, I'm depressed all the time and I work intensively with a T but can't stop obsessing! This is no way to live. I pray you find someone who can coach you on what is appropriate for you and you are happy. God bless you many prayers your way !

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Jarebear

what kinds of foods are the best for you

I posted here - I eat the best foods (probably not in the right combination, not enough good fats as was pointed out to me in response, but good - no candy no donuts) and am still obese and growing more obese. Because I eat too much. So even the best foods do not make the grade - not necessarily. Maybe they are necessary but not sufficient.

You've got some great replies here, follow them...