[Betty_Banana]

I have been having a hard time with mirrors lately. Some days I look at myself and I see so much fat, and it feels/looks so disgusting. But then maybe the next day or so, I can look and see that I'm actually skinny.

It is getting very confusing. I really believe I am fat some days. But then when I don't see the fat, I tell myself there's no way I could have lost that much weight in such a short amount of time.

Mirrors lie.

Can anyone else relate to this?

[Betty_Banana]

I guess my question is, how do you learn to ignore what the mirror says? Sometimes I can get on the scales and realize that there's no way I can be fat, other times even seeing the scales, the numbers seem so high, even though they're really not.

Sorry If I'm not even making sense.

[MrsBee]

You make awesome sense, and this is something that I have struggled with day after day after day. The thing that you have to realize is that, even if you do stay away from scales and mirrors, how your emotions are going to be directly associated with how you feel inside. Any number won't be low enough or no mirror is going to reflect what you want to see if you don't have self acceptance on the inside.

personally, I see nothing but a body full of scars a cellulite, but I have been working more on my mental well being as opposed to blasting fat or slimming thighs.

Try this, I've set up a little psuedo shrine set up around my bathroom mirror. Create a space with something that you cherish (to me its a wierd glass lamp) place a photo of you as a baby or small child in a beautiful frame and go to the store and purchase yourself a greeting card, a love note. Remind yourself, even if your outside apperance isn't exactly what you want it to be, it doesn't mean you can't still love yourself.

Self love, to me at least, has been more gratifying than any dress size or beauty contest.

Hopefully that helps.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by MrsBee

The thing that you have to realize is that, even if you do stay away from scales and mirrors, how your emotions are going to be directly associated with how you feel inside..

I'd say your're prob. right about that.

One thing I have noticed lately is that if I'm feeling ok and having a good day and happen to look in the mirror, I see my self as I really am...which is pretty much underweight.

When I'm having a bad day, that's when I see all the fat. If I could just remember that.

I like your suggestion of a 'shrine'. Thanks.

[brokenlegsofthelamb]

Originally Posted by Lost_In_Thought

I have been having a hard time with mirrors lately. Some days I look at myself and I see so much fat, and it feels/looks so disgusting. But then maybe the next day or so, I can look and see that I'm actually skinny.

It is getting very confusing. I really believe I am fat some days. But then when I don't see the fat, I tell myself there's no way I could have lost that much weight in such a short amount of time.

Mirrors lie.

Can anyone else relate to this?

yes, i can relate to this. when i do look in a mirror, i try to tell myself positive things, not negative.
i never can make myself believe it when people say i'm thin, or skinny.
i got brave enough to actually ask a good friend of mine whether she thinks i'm thin, because i really wanted to know if others see me the way i do. she knows i have a problem with eating, and is very supportive.
she laughed and said i was super skinny. i also came right out and asked my dr. and psychiatrist, not if they think i'm FAT, which i have done, but whether they think i'm THIN. i think their judgment is better than mine, so it's something to remember when i think otherwise.

[MrsBee]

The primary problem I'm having with this whole converstion is that we are allowing ourselves to be controlled by weight and using a dichotomus key of Skinny=good Fat=bad...why can't we change that thinking and use the thought pattern happy with our bodys = good self destructive behaviors = bad.

I can't say i'm a saint when it comes down to it myself. I have been struggling really hard this week...slipping back into pro ana thoughts. Although, when I look in the mirror, I really don't quantify my emotions on body shape anymore. I'm more governed over what or if I put something in my mouth. I think its a control thing.

I like control of something, and money has me ultra mega stressed lately and I feel out of control. Food is the reins of my life I suppose, although it doesn't fix my money problems, it takes my mind off of them for a little while.

[furbyturby10]

I know exactly how you feel!! It's very frustrating isn't it? You just have to remember you see what you want to see, not necessarily what's there! Keep up with positive thoughts and remember people are here for you!

[Woundedheart1]

I do weigh myself daily in 3 different scales but I took down almost all my mirrors except my tiny bathroom mirror so u can do my hair. I just don't want to see myself at all full length because I got tired of look in a mirror that made me feel like I was looking in a fun house mirror and a cross between the fat lady and the midget! I felt like shamu the whale every day so the came down! I just have the scales to go by and I've cut myself down on how many times I can step on them a day as well so I don't bug myself out all day too. it's progress but I still struggle a lot!! But not as I did when I looked in the mirror every day! They really defeated me! I've actually been doing a little better for the first time in tear with these tactics!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Woundedheart1

I just have the scales to go by and I've cut myself down on how many times I can step on them a day as well so I don't bug myself out all day too. it's progress

It is great progress, keep it up! remember also that stepping on the scale more than once in the morning (naked, after you get up and pee) is pointless - you'd be comparing apples to oranges. Just take naked morning weight every day and plot it and maybe one day you will even accept that you can take the weight weekly. Not anytime soon, but maybe one day.