any help would be appreciated

hi everyone. i have just been informed that my best friend is bulimic. we live 800 miles apart and i was hoping maybe someone could offer me some tips on what i can do to help her. there is SO much info out here, i don't know where to begin. she has agreed to seek couseling but i can't even find any doctors near her. also, as her friend, what advice if any can somebody offer me on my role to helping her. thanks.

it's great that your friend is willing ot seek help, and too bad you're so far away. That must be hard on you, feeling as though you can't do much.

What you can do is to help her find resources, and to do taht, you have to find some. Here's a starter kit for you:

http://www.somethingfishy.org
they've got great resources, including searchable referrals

http://www.anad.org
they've got peer support groups that can be helpful, although not a substitute for professional help.

http://www.edreferral.com
just what it sounds like, referrals for eating disorders.

Overeaters Anonymous is the 12-step that most people go to, if they want a 12 step program. I don't find 12-steps helpful, and know that many other people with EDs don't, either. We already know we're powerless over food...

Also some books that might be helpful, like Bulimia Nervosa, by Lindsay Hall. There are also numerous self help workbooks that can help, and you can find most of them at Gurze Books, which you can find online at http://www.gurze.com/ Gurze is a great resource, just in general, if you want information about eating disorders.

Aside from doctors for your friend, which will be very hard, another avenue to direct her to, as an adjunct to, and not instead of, therapy, is nutritional counseling. She'll want to see a Registered Dietitian, not just a nutritionist. Get the one with the proper credential, and see if it's someone with some training in EDs.

Finding a therapist who treats eating disorders is awfully hard. How old is yoru friend? If she's younger, she'll have many more resources out there. Many therapists don't like to see adults with EDs, because they assume it's long standing. (It usually is, of course.) While you can look for a Certified Eating Disordes Specialist, they're rare on the ground. Many other therapists, though, can help. While I always think that psychodynamic therapy is the best bet, for bulimia there have been good results (short term, at least) with CBT and even modified DBT. But she should know that those are not the only options. If she tries CBT, say, and does well -- but finds herself purging again after six months, that doesn't mean that she won't benefit from another form of therapy. (Or even just another therapist...)

Good luck, and feel free to ask any questions. I can try to answer. You can also PM me, if you don't hear back from me here.

Thank you so much Genevieve. I really appreciate you taking the time to write me all of that information. I will get to work. My friend is 31 years old. I had a feeling that it would be a little more difficult to find support for an adult. From what I could find, it looks like most resources were focused on younger people. I know she needs as much help as I can provide from here. Thanks again so much.

Tell your friend that there is very little help out there. What there is is usually far away and very costly whether effective or not. Her greatest help and resource is herself. She has to want health & life more than anything and truly believe in and care about herself first of all. I, unfortunately can't find enough love in me for myself to get very far. Be sure to work on that & work on it every day. I have had the problem since age 14. I am now 34 and have nothing to show for it except my problem. I've been to treatment many times and my parents & Dr. want me to go again, but I don't plan to. I hope it does more for you. It can help some of us, just not all of us. Just remember that you have to try for yourself,no one else. You must be your own best hope and friend when it comes down to it. Good luck & God bless. Anonymous sufferer.