[Waterbottle922]

So I live with my cousin, and he helps as best he can without being able to watch me 24/7... But he just doesn't get it. He understands the concept that he will never truly understand but that's not even comforting.

I need to figure out how to explain to him what I'm feeling and what I need from him support wise. It makes me freak out when he tells me I've eaten too much or too fast and it's like I haven't done something right. I use the binging to numb things and the purging to take control and punish myself and to know that hey I can do this whole feeling things again. I know the consequences to purging but I just can't seem to help myself. I guess that's a sign of not actually wanting to change. Which scares me, but I know I'm struggling with stopping a lot of bad habits at once so that makes it even harder.

It makes me want to cry knowing that I can't figure how to explain it to my cousin. But apparently he wants to talk tonight so I'm going to have to figure something out. Any help would be great. Thanks in advance for the help and for reading this whole blob of words.

Kelly

[Gr3tta]

hi kelly! thanks for your post. it can be really difficult to explain to someone else how to help, especially when you're still working on figuring out how to help yourself! i think it is very difficult for others to understand eating disorders. your cousin may never truly understand, having not experienced it for himself. but he can love you and support you whether he truly understands or not. i think the best thing to do, is to share with him the tools you're using to get better, and the goals you're trying to reach. it's up to you to make decisions about your own behavior. his role can be to remind you, and congratulate you for your successes. for instance: i am helping my wife to be more compliant in her diabetes testing. i know she is supposed to test her blood sugar before eating anything. if i see that she doesn't, i can remind her. if she chooses not to anyway, that's her responsibility, not mine. my job is just to be there with the reminder, or with the congratulations when she remembers on her own.
good luck. you're brave to be working on this. i'm glad you have your cousin in your corner, even if he fumbles at it.

[AngelWolf3]

How did it go when you talked last night? I just now saw this post, and hope that things went well for you...

[Waterbottle922]

Wolfin3, I wish I could say it went well, however we ended up not talking at all. so I have no idea how it's going to go. I'm a little upset that we didn't talk because he was "too tired"but not too tired to play video games and chat on the phone to friends for a while. It really brought up some negative feelings. But alas I shall try again soon as he isn't "too tired". If you have any tips I'd still appreciate it.