Feel like creating an ED (some times)

Some times I feel like having an ED, then I could be the petite person that really does live with in my own God given bone structure.... the one I was nine years ago.

Just a thought I had this morning...................... thought I would share.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I certainly hope it isn't possible to "create" a psychiatric disorder! I certainly wouldn't have "created" depression and PTSD for myself! They came about because of other circumstances in my life. I bet it works the same way for EDs. And I bet people with EDs (I'm not one) probably don't appreciate the thought that they brought it on themselves....

NO - I would never insinuate that any one has brought ED on their self because they did some thing wrong or made it happen.... ED is a mental issue and should not me taken lightly.... I was just stating how I felt this morning - for I hate the way my body looks.... and in lue of that feeling an ED seemed better at the moment - but not really.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Rhap I do understand that. at times I wish I had an ED to get rid of this ugly horrid body of mine. instead I eat more...I am an emotional eater I guess...*shrugs*

honestly.. i feel like i did bring it onmyself in the sense that. I let thoughts like yours make me apathetic to the horrible things that i did to my body. slowly.. it became a full fledge ED.

I don't know if one can create a disorder, but I think, just like we can poison our bodies, we can poison our minds. Certainly, certain experiences a person has can affect their mental state of being. But nobody who knows anything about what we suffer would choose to give themselves a disorder, if it were possible. Noting that I am not a psychiatrist, I would venture to say that a person that chose to give him/herself a mental disorder already has a mental disorder.

But I understand where you're coming from Rhapsody. I know enough about anorexia and bulimia to know I really don't want them, but the idea of being thin appeals to me, too. Still, I don't want to be as skinny as some of these girls get and strive to be...I want to be a healthy weight, as well as healthy in general, not dead. I'm not putting down anyone with anorexia; but the reality of it is, it's not healthy.

While I don't know all the components that go into getting a disorder, I believe, and I think evidence shows, that eating disorders are at least aggravated by images we're given when we're young, that beauty is about being thin. Eating disorders have been around for centuries, but as I understand, it's an epidemic among young girls in the past several decades, since we've become obsessed with being thin.

I am affected by these images, too. I really believe that beauty is about being healthy and strong, but I also know that my image of what beautiful is, is based on what I grew up seeing. I don't think all the models I see are beautiful, and what I call a healthy weight, some in Hollywood, at least, would say is too fat (but it's not fat at all). I need to lose weight, but I don't want to be so thin that I have to starve myself to maintain it, and be hungry all the time. I have to eat, LOL!

yes these are the thoughts that do create the eating disorders.

The road to eating disorders is

1. the person thinking they are fat and no good and if only they were like - anerexic, a supermodel, their best friend (whoever and whatever that person considers better then where they are right now).

2. Then after the thoughts sit for a bit popping up over and over again (usually at a time when the person doesnt feel good about their self) they start dieting.

3. as people start noticing the person is losing weight and comment how good they look, the person becomes even more strict on their diet plans limiting even more meals and then they start skipping meals all together.

4. Skipping meals and limiting food intake below what the body needs results in the body going into ration mode of storing the intake as fat for use when the body is not getting the right amout of nutrients

5. The person sees the addition of the fat and decides instead of looking at the nutrient levels limits food intake even more to the point of eating to satify th e hunger pains and then purging (throwing up so that the food intake does not go beyond the stomach.

6. Because the body now has no nutrients being brought in it starts fuelling itself by releasing the nutrients in the fat cells. Whe the fat cells are gone the body contues to gather what it needs but because the reserves is now gone the body's "food" is not breaking down the muscles.

It is usually at this point where people start trying to interviene and hospitalize the person.

Once hospitalized the person undergoes therapy and nutricianal classes to understand how and why they started thinking about not eating to begin with and how to plan meals to that they obtain the ideal physicians chart weight for their height and age. They are taught how to maintain that ideal weight not by limiting food intake but by actually eating more small meals more times a day so that the body does not go into the store food as fat for reserves, and they also learn how to regulate themselves on an exercise program best fitted for them.

I am a recovered anerexic and have been through such a program. It really isn't where you want to be. but since the first step - the thoughts - are there now is the best time for you to talk with your therapist, and family physician so that you don't continue down this road into a full blown eating disorder.

Thanks everyone for UNDERSTAND my feelings and for not condemning me for them.... as I was thinking about this particular post today I realized that I do have an ED.... I over eat to hide and protect myself from my inner fears of MEN (and) from looking like a WOMAN again, curves and all.

> > > > > > > > > > > See talking it out does work (venting) helped me to turn on my release valve long enough to see the TRUTH after the trash was remove.

My gift...


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I don't know why I overeat, at least not completely. I believe part of it is addiction to sugar, maybe most of it. I feel great pleasure when I eat certain foods. If I don't eat these things, I feel irritable and anxious, which is one of the reasons I think it's an addiction.

I have a lot of low self-esteem, and question myself a lot. And I don't think I have a fear of being womanly and attractive, because I want it immensely. I had a time when I lost all my excess weight, and I loved it, although I had some sagging skin. I just kept eating dessert when I ate out after I met my boyfriend (I wasn't used to eating out so often, and so, where dessert used to be a treat after the rare eating out--once or twice a month--it was suddenly several times a week), and didn't control my eating, so I put the weight back on again.

I'm depressed about my weight almost all the time, I'm scared of having a heart attack and I'm scared I'm going to die. Plus, it takes so much just to lose a few pounds, and when I do lose all this weight, I'm going to look horrible, with all the sagging skin.

I feel like I look like s***. Last night, my bf and I went grocery shopping, and he made his usual joke to the pretty female cashier: "Now, remember, you're supposed to be smiling like you're deliriously happy. (Cashier smiles.) And then they'll give you lots and lots of drug tests!" He does this almost every time, and only for females, especially pretty or at least average ones. He used to fold dollars into cute little shapes and give them to waitresses, but he hasn't done that in a long time. I really feel like crap when he flirts with girls this way, even if he doesn't mean anything by it.

you know I have to say I am glad someone finally understands that overeating is also an ED...all the time when you hear about ED people are talking anorexia and bulimia. Thanks for acknowledging overeaters!

YES.............................. Over Eating is a legitimate ED, that is why we have: Over Eaters Anonymous (support groups).

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

There is also binge eating disorder, but I can't remember right now whether that one is official or proposed at this point.

Rhap, I know what you meant too and have similar thoughts. I skip meals and restrict eating, but chocolate is one of my coping mechanisms too, so sometimes I live on nothing but chocolate. My eating isn't good, but between everything I end up maintaining just a few pounds above the ideal for my height. I often think I'd like to be 85 pounds, and I'd like to have liposuction and get my lower ribs removed because I don't like the way they stick out, and if I had plenty of money maybe I would.

I also used to look through the DSM manual and think I probably could develop almost anything in there that I wanted to. I think I could. And yes, there is something wrong if we're thinking that way because if we were okay we wouldn't need to look fo disorders in order to feel better. But we don't need to go looking for more trouble than we already have, do we?

Rap

I consider binge eating a disorder; I don't know if it's in the DSM or whatever the book is called, but it should be. I just saw something on the news about it a few days ago, on the signs of a binge eater. I don't know if I'm one or not; sometimes I want to eat a bunch of stuff, and I might eat two or three different things in a row that I shouldn't eat, but not usually. Usually, I give in to one temptation, and overeat that.

To me, almost any kind of consistent non-healthy eating is probably a disorder. I, too, get tired of looking at stories, sites, etc., about eating disorders and finding only anorexia and bulimia. I don't mean that those problems are nothing or unimportant; I just mean I want to see more of my eating disorder, too.

One thing that's annoying is, you can check into rehab centers for other addictions--drugs, alcohol--but there aren't any, really, for those with overeating disorders. Yes, there are "fat farms" for teens, and hospitals when your health gets bad, but really, nothing that's really the same as a rehab center.

Strange that I haven't really seen overeating as an ED. I've toyed with labelling myself Anorexic or Bulimic, probably because they're the most famous. So if overeating is an ED I've had it for the last 18 of my 28 years of life. WOW.
Whatever the labels are I try to see EDs as patterns of behaviour. My current pattern of behaviour is to eat huge and excercise till I drop.
When I was big there were times I envied Anorexics for their slimness rather than seeing what they were putting themselves through. Maybe anorexia and overeating are the same monster, just wearing different masks. That's just the feeling I get, don't know where it comes from.

Good to hear that we helped you learned some thing new.... (((( hugs )))).

LoVe,
Rhapsody -