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#1
May 18, 2006, 08:03 PM
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when it comes to my ED.. some days, like today.. i'm really determined not to purge, try and get my life back to 'normal' and become healthy. the fact that i've been having mad heart palpitations helps with that determination
 and other days, i'm just as determined to binge and purge, like yesterday. this thinking is so warped i know that logically.. but i also think i wanna hang onto my ed.. its something that i 'feel' i have control over, and i know its never going to leave me.. is that weird for taking comfort in that? i have no idea where to start 'healing' .. and i've been told i should be in treatment for this.. right now i have *no* plans to be in treatment.. i really dont wanna leave my kids.. but on the other hand.. i dont wanna die on them either  i also dont know the reason for this post.. i spose i just needed to express myself, and doing that verbally is just too hard for me.. any questions, comments, experiences, or whatnot are muchly apreciated. ~M |
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#2
May 18, 2006, 11:28 PM
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Hey dude
It's really up to you if you feel like you need treatment or not. Someone can't say to you that you NEED it- it's gota be something you yourself feel you need. Sounds a bit scary with all the palpitations and all. It kind of reminds me of myself a bit- because i sometimes don't care too much whether i physically suffer- it's all part of it really. It sounds like you have a really good motivating point to get well though- your kiddies! I think you did really well expressing yourself. PM me if you want- I can totally identify with a lot of what you are saying! Hugs goin your way!! -Sezzie- |
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#3
May 21, 2006, 12:43 PM
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mdb81,
Im wondering if you would have to leave your children for treatment. I dont know about eating disorders but it sorta sounds like there really is a probelm and Im wondering if there is a programme you could get on that would help. Can you speak to a doctor? ATG
__________________
 good things come to those who wait, and wait and wait |
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#4
May 22, 2006, 09:35 PM
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update: today i went to see my counselor, and she told me that she feels that it would be unethical to keep my confidence and she's going to talk to the psych.
does anyone know what is going to happen to me? i'm very very very scared. ~M |
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