What started your disorder?

for me... it was a very long starvation

i don't want to go in to much detail.. but i starved myself for, well... a few months at least- and when i finally decided to eat something, the body rejected it- and the cycle begun... i'd go for ages without eating anything, then massivly overeat- right now i am an extreme overeater

I remember now, I think what really made me start looking at my body was when my mom and I were walking the hallways at the school she taught at and we passed by a window, and she looked at my reflection and said "ugh, you need to suck in your stomach so your pooch doesn't stick out. Like this" and then she told me how to do it. I was 12...and not overweight, but I was in puberty and on my period so I couldn't help that I was bloated. But ever since then I have not liked my reflection. I don't know why I remembered this driving to work today, but I had to write it down.

I have avoided therapy most of those years until 3-4 yrs ago. i was working with an ED therapist but we had a conflict and I had to stop going. I searched for another ED T with no luck - especially with insurance I have not many providers take it. I have been working with another T who specializing in DBT and have found her to be helpful just not with the ED.