Survey time at T

So I saw my ED T today and she had me take the E.A.T.s survey. It basically tells you how likely you are to have an ED. It is more indepth then ones I've seen online. She told me that a score of 20 meant you are more than likely to have an ED, my score was 40! Of course we both knew that I have an ED, but this just told us how bad it is right now. She is going to have me do it every so often so we can track how I am doing. I have been restricting a lot more, and started counting calories. I know what can and probably will eventually happen, but it is like I don't care. It is almost as if I want to get to that low point and be hospitalized. Who in their right mind thinks like that? Sometimes I wish there was a pill that would help with EDs like there are antidepressants and such. I feel so stuck right now and don't know how to get unstuck.

I know what you mean. the other day, I was reading my journal from when I was hospitalized, and I actually thought "I miss that, why can't I be that low again?" What the HECK!?! So I understand. It's so hard being stuck, too, even with a T's help. When you feel stuck, does T have any tips for you on how to get unstuck? (If you are willing to share I would love to hear them...)