[precious things]

I am in that miserable weight restored but completely stuck in Ed behaviors place. Every day I lie to myself and say I am done with it but it invades my space. I have reached out and am meeting a new therapist, someone who specializes in eating disorders. I hope this is the path to healing...

[Travelinglady]

I think you are doing the right thing by seeing the therapist.

[eskielover]

Very wise in going to someone who is familiar with handling ED's. I had a problem however with them personally because I have many issues that goes into the anorexia that I deal with & much is stress more than the desire to be really thin. Because of that, many of the "specialists" at the ED treatment center wanted to shove me into their preconceived box of what my problem was & it didn't do any good at all. All their questions were directed at getting the information they believed existed out of me & it didn't give room to get the real important information out to be processed. It happened also with the pdoc & the psychologist that were on staff at the hospital where my GP was treating me for my very low weight after I went through the trauma with the home care person when my mother was dying of cancer. They heard what I was saying about the trauma but weren't willing to tie it to the low weight issues I was in the medical hospital being treated for. Just make sure that this T is really LISTENING TO YOU & what YOU ARE SAYING & not putting words into your mouth or taking their own preconceived ED thoughts out of your mind. Many are good...but it's important to make sure they are good & truly hearing what you have to say.

ED treatment can be very complicated when it really gets down to WHY those behaviors are really there & what is really behind them & sometimes we don't even really know but it's so important for the healing process.

Wishing you the best with your new T....it's good to go with a positive attitude toward getting the help that is really needed

[AngelWolf3]

Good for you for reaching out and finding a T! I hope it goes well for you.

[mrskid]

Originally Posted by precious things

I am in that miserable weight restored but completely stuck in Ed behaviors place. Every day I lie to myself and say I am done with it but it invades my space. I have reached out and am meeting a new therapist, someone who specializes in eating disorders. I hope this is the path to healing...

Hi Precious things. I am also in that miserable weight restored but in a way don't wont to stop the ED behavior. I also just started seeing a therapist that specializes in eating disorders too. If you ever need to just talk please feel free to send me a message. I hope we both walk down the path to healing together. Give yourself credit for reaching out for help. I know how difficult it can be to talk about ED.

[precious things]

Thanks for the support everyone

I really like this T - like this is probably where I should have been many years ago. However, it scares the $&/t out of me because now it feels real and for the first time in many, many years I am being challenged on my behaviors and feelings about the disorder I've carried with me for so much of my life. A huge part of me wants to run but I am telling myself to keep going.

[spow]

I'm just embarking on my recovery process and it is difficult to even get my head around it. The fact that you have recovered enough to restore your weight is a wonderful achievement. As for being stuck in the behaviours, many people say that behaviours are learned. Perhaps developing new constructive behaviours may help override the old ones? Also, when I'm badly stuck in an ED behaviour like bingeing, I find that a week-long holiday helps. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just something to get you out of your norms to break your routine and try to break bad habits. Even staying over at a friend's for a week might help.

[precious things]

Originally Posted by spow

I'm just embarking on my recovery process and it is difficult to even get my head around it. The fact that you have recovered enough to restore your weight is a wonderful achievement. As for being stuck in the behaviours, many people say that behaviours are learned. Perhaps developing new constructive behaviours may help override the old ones? Also, when I'm badly stuck in an ED behaviour like bingeing, I find that a week-long holiday helps. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just something to get you out of your norms to break your routine and try to break bad habits. Even staying over at a friend's for a week might help.

Thank you for the encouragement. I'm stuck in a horrible bulimic phase and with that, I seem to fail at the self care. Whenever I try to do something to better or nurture myself (that doesn't involve food), I somehow have a hard time internalizing the positive benefits. Ex: I took up running to help me quit smoking ( an ED behavior) and to get the stress-relief benefits. Now I run 25 miles a week while I continue to smoke/purge. Now I know this is terrible health wise, but in my head its "okay, now i know I can run and smoke and push my body to the limit and it won't break". Gah. Sorry, I am just so stuck. It's a good thing I'm in therapy

[Victoria'smom]

I'm stuck in a similar spot. Hopefully T can help you out.

[AngelWolf3]

I totally get what you mean about replacing the behaviors!!!!! I won't go into detail, but its so weird how we can start something to be 'healthy' and then the ED turns it around and it gets used to support the disease! Grr. BUT I am SO happy to hear that you like your T!!!!! And identifying that something is an issue is the first step (i have heard!!! so sorry to sound cliche there!)