[precious things]

Do you ever just feel so overwhelmed with the eating disorder that you just want the madness of self-hate,numbers, starving, purging, whatever to end? But somehow, you just cant take the scary step of letting it go?

I'm so stuck. I want to change, I need to change and yet, I am so afraid of letting any of the behaviors go.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Precious -
Anyone who has ever taken the step towards recovery has been exactly where you are. It feels like someone is asking you to climb a sheer vertical cliff, with no ropes, no practice and no upper body strength and then, if you manage to do that, you find you have to jump off!

BUT. If you do make that leap of faith and have a good counselor, maybe a support group or two and you begin to challenge what ED is saying, Life is just so much better.

I was severly bulimic for more than 30 years, so I understand the fear of doing what you need to do to get better, but the pleasure I have now is so much more rewarding than the fake pleasure I had through calorie counting, restricting, bingeing, purging, avoiding, isolating, hurting...

Get your resources lined up - if that's inpatient or a partial hospitalization program or an outpatient therapist or Celebrate Recovery or an intensive outpatient program. Then commit yourself to working the program and learning to live a honest, joyful and fulfilling life.

It's out there for the taking.

I wish you love and health
Bub

[precious things]

I did start the process with a new therapist..so I guess that is one step. I just feel at a loss when it comes to breaking any of the behaviors. It's been with me for so many years that I am just paralyzed with fear at the thought of gaining weight (which I know will happen because I am maintaining a weight that is not normal for me through eating disorder behaviors). If only we could just choose to walk away from it, without fear. I do want a better life, it just feels so remote and almost impossible at this point.

[Victoria'smom]

All the time, it's not the first step for me. I'm okay with with Dr.'s knowing I have a “history” of it. I'm okay with talking about it. Until recently, I did not realize how much I down played it to my therapist. I know I've hid things from my husband and I say nothing to pdoc. Letting go of the eating disorder is horrendously scary. Letting go of anything and everything else is so much easier. Just keep working on moving forward.

[photostotake]

Originally Posted by precious things

Do you ever just feel so overwhelmed with the eating disorder that you just want the madness of self-hate,numbers, starving, purging, whatever to end? But somehow, you just cant take the scary step of letting it go?

I'm so stuck. I want to change, I need to change and yet, I am so afraid of letting any of the behaviors go.

Al of this, but then again, you know that my sweet friend. We'll do the best we can. We can encourage each other to do the right thing by getting the help we both desperately need. One baby step at a time.