[PetulantWolf]

Crap. Found out today she's been telling the whole town she cant eat becasue of something about her bloodwork coming back bad. Complete lie. Her father died in November, my neighbor stabbed his wife 9 times yesterday and Ive been bulimic on and off. For years. Now I have to watch her for an ED. Crap.

[Namaste]

I am sooo sorry you are going through this. I can imagine you're feeling overwhelmed, but imagine if you hadn't caught her ED so early!! That's a positive thing right? Try and stay strong, for yourself and your daughter--you know what it is like living with an ED, so now you can better relate when talking with her

[Genevieve]

Yep, while this is awful, you caught it early and can get her in to see someone right away. Because you don't want to try to fix this by watching her yourself -- you know that won't work, right? Sounds as though she's having a lot of trouble adjusting to things like her father's death and the neighbors and all the rest. A good therapist can help a lot, and you know that it's better to work on things as soon as you can, rather than waiting years to do it.

Good luck.

yeah, I say good thing it came out this early.

your doing a wonderful thing to get her help - imagine if all of us had had someone like you as a parent when that old, someome willing to help us.

((((love to both)))))

[eskielover]

I know that when I was dealing with my Mother when she was dying of cancer, I felt like I was running on adrenelin. To top that off, I caught the home care RN calling to get a credit card using my Mothers ID & writting checks on my mothers account (both things I caught before she was successful), but before I could get her out of the house (5 days) she had the police called, accusing me of abusing my Mother & then she OD'ed my Mother on morphine. The fear of her & her threats just added to my stress. When I stress, I end up feeling nausea to the point where I can't eat or drink . I ended up being medically hospitalized to be treated for the anorexia....& due to the PTSD I have been experiecing since then, hasn't made the nausea any better....nor the weight gain any easier. Maybe the death of her father effected her with a stress that may not be obvious to even her.....& is easier for her to blame the eating problems on something else.

As with many ED's, there are many things that go into the cause.......also, grief is something that sounds like she may need some help with too......November isn't that long ago, & she may not be able to talk through even those issues that may be bothering her. Yes, we are examples that can also be followed by our children, but that may only be a piece of the puzzle that needs to be sorted out with help before it gets to the point that her health is in jeapordy.

Please take care of you & your daughter......you have also gone through many traumas over the past months......maybe getting help together would make it easier on her too.....just a thought.

Debbie

[sniffles]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's good that you're catching it early though. I have suffered from anorexia/bulimia since I was 12. I am now 23 and still deal with it. It's so hard to stop. So since you have caught it early, maybe you can stop it before it gets too serious. I wish you all the best in the world. I hope things get better for your daughter. Please know I'm here if you want to talk.
sniffles

[EJ711]

Just -

I just read your post from 3/31. That's awful about your neighbor stabbing his wife.

I totally agree with you that your daughter's anorexia is related to the loss of her father. I saw a story on Erma Bombeck tonight. She said as a child she had a Mommy doll and a Daddy doll. She said she the Mommy doll had a lot to do, but she didn't know what the Daddy doll did, so she just threw him under her bed. She said in real life one day when she was nine, her father didn't go to work. He went to the hospital, and died the next day. She said she got the doll out from under her bed, and wondered why she missed her father so much, when he didn't do anything.

Your daughter can't bring her father back, but she can feel like she has some control by not eating.

I'm sorry.

EJ

[mollydaisy]

saw this post and know what your dealing with. I too have a young daughter dealing with an ED. Check ou tthis website,www.connectwithkids.com, and look for the tape called "Mirror Mirror". See if you get her to watch with you...Very Good!
Hope this helps!
mollydaisy

[siani]

maybe you should just leave her for a while, everyone has ways of dealing with grief, hers is not eating, leave her for a few months, it will either stop as she comes to terms with the loss or you can take her to the doctors and he will tell yher that if she drops more than 15% of her body weight she could die, very quickly. she is coping with gried afterall, you can't not let her grieve, just let her do it in her own way for a while.

thats what i think anyway.... i know my bulumia got way worse after my grandma died.... she will be fine.

[desirae]

So sorry to hear that Just, I really hope she can get the help she needs before it becomes to bad and to much of a habit. Luckily you caught on now before she was years and years into an addiction.

Also it's really good to see you back, and I'm glad you came here for support, and oh how I hope you get it because this is concerning, it always is when it comes to children. I hope everything gets better and works out. Keep us updated.

[Tigerlilly]

You sound angry at your daughter. Don't be. She is a child who is reacting to grief and stress and what *you* taught her about food through your own disorder. You two need to heal together. I know you are upset about the neighbor, but you both need to prioritize. Her daddy is dead? Her mama battled an eating disorder? Sweetie, how could she *not* show symptoms? Nip this in the bud NOW. You have suffered enough! You don't need to lose a daughter on top of all of this!