I have had eating disorders since childhood. I am in my 40s now. I feel at the end in many ways, the end of my life. The things I never thought would happen are happening. Very negative side effects and probably not reversible.

There isn't much support for older people. I think no one wants to face what could happen if you don't recover and that is me. You end up like me. Not a good place to be. Every day I want to die. I need some kind of treatment for this, but would feel out of place with all the young people. It just seems hopeless.

[Victoria'smom]

I just turned 30 and my eating disorder is about 22 yrs old. Honestly I don't see recovery in my future. I think the best thing is to go to a ED therapist 2-3x a week.

[eskielover]

I never really had an ED until it hit at the age of 44. Growing up I had the thought process for it but was always too busy succeeding in life to allow anything to mess that up. Things like stress would always make me loose a lot of weight.....but the stress never lasted long enough for it to turn into anything....& my mother was always into dieting & I was chubby in grade school & promised myself that I would never let myself go the way my mother did.....& I rode my bike 15 miles to work & home & played racquettball with the other engineers I worked with & tournaments that I would end up beating most of them in.....exercise always made me feel good......so the foundation was there when I ended up loosing my career & realizing how horrible my marriage actually is.....& the pdoc gave me prozac which was a major weight loss med for me on top of the stress & the anxiety I was going through......& that hit starting at the age of 41.....ended up in an eating disorders treatment center at the age of 43......there were others there about my age......my problem was that I was so suidical during the time I was in the treatment center....that I really got nothing out of it & the therapist was trying to make me think things that weren't there in my thinking so I was totally angry on top of everything else........constantly in & out of the medical hospital with IV nutrition through a central line.

The thing is these days, there are so many people across the board age wise that suffer with ED's that in reality.....you would NOT be out of place given your age.....I am sure you would find many others in the same place & with the same feelings as you are things you are going through. ......best thing to do is give it a try......then you will know rather than assuming the worst

[precious things]

I am in the same age range and it is shocking how little information really exists on the long-term effects. There is the general info out there but everything reads like it just was written off a pamphlet in a pediatricians office. I had an IP intake where they asked me if I visited proAna and Mia sites....I told them my eating disorder pre-dates the Internet. No one tells you about the years of hardness this disease does to you mentally, how much damage can be done physically. I often think like Miguel's Mom in that its been almost 25 years, maybe the best we can do is learn to be okay in life, and maybe the disorder will quiet down. It's hard because after so many years, where does one begin to peel back all the layers and purposes our disease serves us? The reasons why we developed the disorder as a teen, may not be the same reasons it is maintained today....I do see an ED therapist and I wish I would have many years ago.

[sunsetsunrise]

Originally Posted by roseleigh7

I have had eating disorders since childhood. I am in my 40s now. I feel at the end in many ways, the end of my life. The things I never thought would happen are happening. Very negative side effects and probably not reversible.

There isn't much support for older people. I think no one wants to face what could happen if you don't recover and that is me. You end up like me. Not a good place to be. Every day I want to die. I need some kind of treatment for this, but would feel out of place with all the young people. It just seems hopeless.

yes. Often before I post I do think that I am too old to be sounding like this. And yet, there it is. I have been living with the ED more years than I care to admit. I am older than I care to admit. The damage done by the ED does accumulate. I have been on the binge and then starve yoyo for decades. The starving part of it seems to have won out in recent years. Because my body is so sick from it all that I cannot eat the foods I want anyway. So the times I can even be tempted are few and far between as the body rarely can handle most foods. When I was young my mother used to pay me to lose weight. So I would starve to make money. But I also wanted to starve. The other rewards were good also. Of course it was buffered by the "never thin enough" syndrome. But at least I made money. Then I would binge again after a while to self medicate. Eventually the monitary incentive was gone. But still the starving persisted. There were the messages behind the money payoff. messages that became my own voice.

I can add stress to a factor of why my digestive system has deteriorated over the years. It was not just starving But stress only adds to the toll that has been imposed upon my body.

I do not know of an online ED community where there are older people who are starvers. I do remember though that when I went to local OA meetings there were people who were older than I. But I cannot do OA. I am too shame based to even try to handle the 12 steps.

Sad how my body is so harmed by the starving and yet I do not seem to be able to stop losing. Although I am not starving now. Just making sure I either lose weight or do not gain an ounce. I am not sure what I am going to do when I have to next go to the doctor. She told me a month agao I could not lose any more weight. I am not supposed to be this thin. But that didnt stop me from losing. Even though I know it is causing harm.

I am so grateful for the people in this pc ED community. People of all ages. Very grateful for you all. And yes I would also love find more support groups with folks who have been living for many decades with starving and even yoyo also. So if you hear of one, please do let me know. I really like this pc community. so I would not stop posting here regardless of any other community I find. this is a good and caring community.

[buttrfli42481]

I am 32 and when I was first treated for my ED, I was 30. I was inpatient and there was a lady there who was almost old enough to be my mom. You are never too old to recover if you want to. At the treatment facility where I was, we had teens, my age, and older; boys and girls. All mixed in together. You would be surprised how much I learned from some of the younger girls there. I also learned things from the older people. The one thing that sticks with me is that we all had the courage to reach out for help at one point. I hope you are able to find solace in these posts and know that we are here and can relate, age doesn't matter.

[Fig4]

I'm in my 60's and this whole mess started when I was 15......

[precious things]

Originally Posted by Fig4

I'm in my 60's and this whole mess started when I was 15......

Damn. I'm sorry to read you (or anyone here) have been suffering for so long.

There is hope. I had anorexia for nearly 25 years. Hospitalized several times.
I am completely recovered for the past five years, and i am 40.
If i can do it, i know that anyone can.

[sunsetsunrise]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

There is hope. I had anorexia for nearly 25 years. Hospitalized several times.
I am completely recovered for the past five years, and i am 40.
If i can do it, i know that anyone can.

Awesome !! I am so glad to hear of your recovery. It makes my heart happy to read such stories of success.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

I too am in my upper 40s and have had ED for about 35 years. I firmly believe that full recovery is possible and I AM going to get there. By that I mean no ED thoughts or behaviors; just a healthy and dare I say "normal" relationship with food. It's working too! I am going thru a horribly stressful time right now and my T said today, "do anything short of b/p to get yourself through this" and I realized with a start that I hadn't thought of b/p at all! Can you believe that?!

But, sadly, there are real physical consequences to this disease that I also have to manage. I am trying to leave the shame behind and just focus on what I need to do to restore my health and not have it decline (b/c of ED) anymore.

Prayers and hugs for all who need them!
Bub

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by Fig4

I'm in my 60's and this whole mess started when I was 15......

Well, I guess Fig4 & I are at the top range here for the age group.....don't really think there is a true age limit or range on ED's....I think society has painted the picture of it being young...just like they have painted the picture that anorexia specifically is always tied to body image issues....they have a lot to learn about ED's & they have only started to scratch the surface IMO.

[Patagonia]

I'm in awe of ALL of you to be able to share your story so freely! I'm truly grateful to hear them. I'm 43 yo & have my ups & downs. It's very comforting to know there are others out there our age.
Just thinking outside the box a bit it might also be positive to share or see younger people w/ this disorder showing them we can survive & it can be a lifelong fight. Success is reachable.
Thanks
Patagonia

[sunsetsunrise]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Well, I guess Fig4 & I are at the top range here for the age group.

oh but I have not said my age suffice to say, well, I get a senior discount at some stores. Okay well, since you insist I will tell you my age. I am 62

Re: other things you said, yes. I do not know why it seems so many more young people are dealing with this on a more acute level. But clearly from the responses on this thread, many who are older are still grappling with this horrible condition. I scare myself at how twisted my own mind is when it comes to this ed. It honestly is scary when I see myself in this.