[SoupDragon]

Yes as it say in the title, T wants me to start talking about things that have been out of bounds. l can now hear that voice telling me not to tell him, to quickly lose some weight, before he starts to prod and poke and start to notice my body and as he does not understand how it is for me and will make incorrect assumptions. l am scared he will want to know what l eat and will disapprove of each end of the spectrum. l know all the theories, but how do l change how l feel, that terror?

[sunsetsunrise]

hi
would it be possible for you to write out your concerns on a paper and let him read it? I think they are very important concerns. Of course you are scared. If he is someone you can work with around the issue of ed then it would be important that he is able to hear and understand with compassion your concerns, if you know what I mean. Because the fears around ed are extreme for everyone. Working on it IS scary. Of course. It is totally understandable that you have those fears! I am hoping that he will understand. And you can work with him in a way that will help you.

[spondiferous]

That's a good one, sunsun.
Does your T know how terrified you are? I don't know about you or what kind of relationship you have with your T, and what kind of person you are (those things have a great deal to do with it) - but for me, I divulge everything to my T because she is there for me and if I'm not honest she can't help me. I don't always want to tell her stuff. Sometimes I don't want to say anything. Hell, sometimes I don't want to show up at all. But I like the idea of writing stuff down on paper. Takes the edge off. I may have to use that sometime.

[Victoria'smom]

I think my last ED letter was entitled things I never ever, ever, want to talk about ever! and will completely ignore any conversation addressing said letter Yes, my letters generally have very childish titles but in them is what's important. My letters usually contain things I feel T should know but can't voice. Could you do a day in my life with ED letter/story and give it to him? That way before any conversation with him he's seen it through your 'eyes'. I know how hard it is.

[precious things]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yes as it say in the title, T wants me to start talking about things that have been out of bounds. l can now hear that voice telling me not to tell him, to quickly lose some weight, before he starts to prod and poke and start to notice my body and as he does not understand how it is for me and will make incorrect assumptions. l am scared he will want to know what l eat and will disapprove of each end of the spectrum. l know all the theories, but how do l change how l feel, that terror?

If you trust your T and he has any handle on eating disorders, he will not be looking to judge or scrutinize your body or food choices. One of the hardest, yet best things I have been able to do with my T is show up on the " fat" days or days when I feel like I am losing the disorder....your T should be able to see past the physical or behavioral parts and see the real SoupDragon- not the disease.

[precious things]

Just wondered if you've been able to talk more openly?