[maddnessreturns]

I meet with the outpatient ED clinic intake therapist tomorrow. I'm terrified. It will consist of group therapy, nutritionist, medication management/doctor visits, and individual therapy. That is all once a week. Group worries me because I feel like I'm not that bad off and people will think I don't belong. I know it sounds dumb but if I'm not at my worst I don't feel like I deserve help. But I'm tired of going out to eat with my fiance or whoever and having to order off the sides menu because I'm too scared. Or having a set amount of things I eat. Or not even knowing what the heck a normal portion of anything is. I have had this since I can remember in middle school I don't want to be like this forever.

I really hope if I go back to work at my current position they allow me to go. I'd be happy to make up the hours or stay extra late one day. But I know they already don't like me much.

I've never had this opportunity to have this much help. The last time it was bad my therapist dropped me because I was a liability (guess it looks bad if your patient dies) and I couldn't afford residential because I had no insurance so no one would take me. I don't want to miss out on this because my current job doesn't care about my mental health and would rather fire me.

Wish me luck.

[Travelinglady]

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

[maddnessreturns]

Intake went well. Only thing that freaked me out is I'm only x pounds away from the bmi they put you on iv and feeding tubes.

I didn't really think it was that bad but apparently I was lying to myself ory eating disorder was. I see the doctor nutritionist and have group on Tuesday. I hope it goes well.

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[buttrfli42481]

Glad things went well. Being hooked to tubes because you are underweight is no fun. Keep thinking positively about everything that is going to happen on Tuesday. At least you don't have to go inpatient. When I was at my lowest weight, I had to be inpatient.

It is the ED that was lying to you about your weight. Remember that it wants us to be "perfect" which for me was thin. Ana loves to lie about a lot of things about us just to keep her in the forefront of our minds. Let us know how Tuesday goes.