my daughter dropped a bombshell tonight.

she told me she has been being sick aftereating on a few occasions. a friend of hers has bulemia, and my daughter tells me she did this to try and understand.

we are very close, and this has shattered me.

she had some drink tonight (i was at a freinds)too much. i don't mind her drinking in moderation, it has always been that way in my house, never banned it, never had a problem with either of my teens getting really drunk, being sick etc.

we have always told her she is beautiful, talented, funny always given her (or tried)support in everthing and anything she does.

her self -esteem is not good however, thinks she is fat (not at all nothing on her) and thinks she is no good at anything. she plays guitar(self taught) sings in a band and is fantastic at art and is popular. she has a wonderful booyfriend who loves her and tells her she is fantastic.
she now tells me she isn't being sick any more, i'm just so confused. i'm taking her to docs at first opportunity, though she says she's not going. she is 18 in two weeks.

any advice? she has mentioned wanting to talk to other people in here of similar age, so if anyone has msn or myspace please let me know as ther's stuff on here i don't want her to see.

thanks for any ideas, jinnyann xx

[mtaylor]

I am so sorry to hear about this Jinny. I have suffered from an ED for now 12 years. The best support and relieft that I have ever been given is that someone was there and would listen unconditionally and never judge. This person also never asked about my eating or my weight. It seemed the more people talked about it the worse it was. With this person I started to feel comfortable and would eat around and with them and never think twice about it. If you ever need anything please let me know.

((((((((((((((((jinny))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((mtaylor)))))))))

thankyou so much. i am going to talk to her soon as poss. thankyou for your help, i may be pming you lol

love jinny

xx

[biiv]

oh jinny im sorry this has happened. im very glad she told you though. its possible its not a problem or something to worry about but i do agree with approaching it as suggested in the post above this. just talking and listening and dont make a fuss over food or weight or anything.
would it be possible to get her to talk to a counsellor? not necessarily about the throwing up but maybe just suggest that she might want a caring stranger to confide in about anything at all that might be bothering her. then if there is really an eating disorder there the counsellor will figure that out and if not then there is no harm at all done.
i really hope this works out ok for you both. the only thing is that you cant force her to do anything. not just because shes nearly 18 but also because as you know healing has to come from within. the only thing you can do is create a space between the two of you or with a counsellor where she will feel safe enough to face anything she might need to.
good luck to you both.
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[desperado]

Jin,

Take her to therapy.......asap.

thanks guys, i suggested therapy but she'd rather talk to people who have been through it, sort of her own agish, she has been to therapy in past, doesn't want to go there just yet, iwill give her some space, but i am going to tell her bf, he loves her so much, he will lokk after her too.she has a concert in a big venue tonight so i am going to catch her at the right moment when she is relaxed
thanks for your support, kerry xxxxxjinny