[touchingthestars]

I had a horrible nightmare last night that i was trying to put on my shabbos skirt and it wouldnt even fit over my legs and everyone was watching me andwhispering about how much weight i gained

I FEEL the fat on me! Its like how i feel when a huge dog is barking and running at me and i have nowhere to hide. Like how my heart feels like its melting and the whole world stops moving for a second and i almost black out and all that my brain can register is fear. Thats how i feel about the fat on my body now

I'm really freaking out about my weight. I need to lose at least 10 pounds

And its really hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to be able to again

[jelly-bean]

If you have a therapist you might want to talk to him/her about your weight issues. The feelings you have could lead to something worse than a nightmare. Are you anorexic? I hope that you are not. You need to find a way to learn to love your body for the good job it does. There is beauty to be found in every body. It is, after all, your home. I know that it isn't easy to love the imperfections but maybe with counseling you can find a way.

[touchingthestars]

Thank you. No, I am not anorexic but I was diagnosed with EDNOS a year and a bit ago. Still working on it... I wrote that out for my herapist and showed it to her last session. Sometimes it helps if I prepare ahead of time what we're gonna talk about (I also have severe anxiety about therapy... And that doesn't help matters). So I wrote out my feelings here and then copied it for her