My world

I'm staring at myself in the mirror and all I can see is someone who is pathetic, someone who cannot control her world, someone who cannot take charge. I stare at my stomach and it only seems to get bigger. I smell the food I have eaten in the bathroom. I'm mad because I have wasted yet another meal, a meal that was destined to go down the toilet. I feel like a criminal washing the splashes of vomit and spraying the bathroom so it will no longer smell of the atrocity I have committed. There is vomit in my hair. The smell makes me want to puke, but haha I've already done that. I take one last look in the bathroom before I close the door shut on what I have done...

I live in this secret world 3-4 times a week and I can no longer keep it in

You are not pathetic May, you are human. You are going to make mistakes, it's one of the "benefits" of humanity. You're right, you've shut the door on what you've done. it's behind you. 3-4 times a wk does not have to extend to forever, you can control this. You are a strong person and the fact that you could post this shows that. Is there a T that you can talk to about this?
(((((mayflower))))