[itsjustme111]

If someone cant understand why I struggle with being ill; well its simple. It doesnt matter who you are, your background, your status etc, you can get sick. I am not any different then anyone else. I may complain alot. I may have pissed some people off but guess what; this is where I felt I could vent. I hit rock bottom, I overdosed. I screwed up my body; but its like anyother illness, it can be just as valid as anything else that this world hits someone with. My eating disorder is my way of escape. Well it caught up to me. Sometimes people have to hit bottom before they can move on. When someone is ignorent to some illness; well thats fine. But consider why you may be here and what struggles may arise for u. It could be depression, bipolar, cancer, eating disorders; whatever; but before a judgement is made, think about the illness that people do go through. Before you say; it doesnt matter; well guess what; IT MATTERS. It matters to the ones that suffer with our illnesses. It may not matter inside to us at times but it affects so many others. Before u pass judgement and say things that are just plain ignorent; think about ur life and things u have seen and experienced.
Yes, I am a mom. And a damn good one. IT doesnt change that I am sick, very sick. I love and adore my kids but it wont fix why I am sick. I dont want pity here; just listen and stop judgements. I grew up with abuse; physial, sexual (which I dont talk about), mental. I was in an abusive marriage and in and out of womens shelters. My son has had many difficulties; he is a sick boy right now. I dont consider my life any harder then anyone else's. Its hard for everyone out there. I have reacted to these things negatively; I dont deny that. I have a imbalance; I dont deny that. I attempted to take my life; I am sick. People come here for support; I have overused this privledge and I am sorry. I came here tonight for support; IT DOESNT MATTER. Thanks for that. I know before this comment; they said they werent trying to attack me. I said I know, I just didnt understand why this person couldnt understand why I overdosed. I am no different than anyone else that is sick. I acted without thought, I acted impulsive. I wanted death. So shoot me; I am sick and I am human. I am a bad person for doing this; I am a bad person for asking what dont u understand. Well I am so sorry for not being perfect. I guess I need to be a rock. No problem. It doesnt matter. Yes I am angry, I think its obvious. But before someone wants to make judgements and say; "I am not going to say anything because it will be inapropriate", THINK ABOUT IT. How unfair is that?? Is it supposed to be easier because I have kids?? Is it supposed to be easier to deal with illness because I have kids?? It is not that simple and I am so angry for this display of ignorence. Maybe this person should have listened to the part of; I am getting help. No they didnt see this. So whatever, it doesnt matter. I am not going to say, "this is my last post, blaa blaa blaa". But I will wish u all well and I think of u often. Be kind to urselves and keep fighting for health.

justy

[PlanningtoLive]

{{{{{{{Justy}}}}}}}}

I simply wanted you to know that I understand that the problems you have, do not make you less of a mom or mean that you love your kids less.

I get the same thing from people. When I tried to OD, that was the guilt that some people threw at me - no one who hasn't been there would understand the torment that we go through and the pain of watching how it affects the ones we love. It is something that we can't help.

I've watched how you have hung on, done what you believe is right for your kids, and most of all, how you have fought for them. I think you are a very special lady and a caring mom.

Whoever this individual is, don't let them get in the way of what you know is right, what you are doing to get things back on track.

It does matter, and most of us here care a great deal for you............as for the others, it's their loss.

Please take care of yourself.

*******hugs*************

[ktp]

Justy..

I don't know who it was that said these hurtful things to you and frankly, I don't care to know them, if they could be so callous as to say it doesn't matter to you. I've read your posts, seen the struggle and the pain that goes into most of them and it has touched my heart and brought me to tears. You are a great mom. Look how hard you fought for your children, you ARE a great mom. You care ! We all are just doing the best we can and if someone can't understand that, then that's their loss.

I am a mom of 3 beautiful wonderful children, they are good kids, I have a great husband who loves me and treats me well, but I am still so depressed sometimes I can't get out of bed. IT DOESN'T MAKE US BAD MOMS or BAD people. It just makes me mad at the injustice of it all.

I do hope you stick around, you are a person I would really like to get to know ! You're so creative, I've read your poems they are so beautiful and eloquent and it would be a shame not to share more of your thoughts on here. Alot of people can relate. Please take care and know that for every one insensitive person there are a thousand who would love to have the opportunity to try to help or atleast put a smile on your face.

take great care. (((hugs))) if you like them.

Kimberly.

[itsjustme111]

Thanks again. I am at a loss for words. Means so much to get these replies. What more can I say; I think u are all so wonderful! The support is overwhelming. It took awhile before I could respond, the tears poured.

Love u, thanks for the friendships.

Elizabeth